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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is it the end?

9 replies

serena1988 · 14/12/2025 18:28

Have DD1 who is 3 and DS2 who is 7 months old.
Since the arrival of DS2 things have gone downhill in the relationship, I feel I can’t really point out a single cause, seems like partner is always unhappy about something and picking arguments. It started with him complaining of not enough sex and when I thought we had worked through that it has just been a constant argument that has become more and more conflictive and he has said terrible terrible things, so I completely shut down.
he suggested couples therapy, said everything I do triggers him and that he doesn’t have the tools to work on improving it. I thought that was a good step forward but since that suggestion and me going for an initial session with the therapist we have had more arguments and he is now saying we are separating. One part of me thinks I better go and start afresh with my children in a healthy environment but on the other hand I also still love him and I’m terrified and I am so heartbroken.

OP posts:
Nosdacariad · 14/12/2025 18:47

Sending love darling.

Do you have people around you, family & friends?

serena1988 · 14/12/2025 19:28

Not really. I don’t feel I can talk about this with anyone that’s around me.

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Pashazade · 14/12/2025 20:38

It sounds like he’s pushing you away. It sounds like you’ve really tried, I think separation is probably the best road forward and hopefully you can co parent well in the future. Let him go, drop the rope, at least you’ll know where you stand and you can move forward.

Jinglehop · 14/12/2025 20:48

Relationships are very much under strain with two small ones. Even if you separate you are still both parents to your children. Would he consider couples therapy on the basis that, even if you do still end up separating, it could help you both have a more healthy relationship with each other for the sake of your children?

Sodthesystem · 15/12/2025 01:46

The purpose of a relationship is to add more joy, comfort, laughter and support to your life.

He doesn't do any of those things.
Infact he does the opposite.

So what's the point of spending another minute with him?

serena1988 · 15/12/2025 09:41

@Sodthesystemtrue. However before having kids we were having all of that so there is the hope we can return to that? Also, I depresses me so much the idea of walking out with two small kids and lose the family unit, I need my mind reframing if I’m going to do that.

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serena1988 · 15/12/2025 09:46

@Jinglehopwell the therapist did say that sometimes therapy doesn’t work and it goes into mediation to make the separation as amicable as possible. His session is this evening but I do not know if he is going as he won’t speak to me at all at the moment!

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ChristmasinBrighton · 15/12/2025 09:46

Are you married? Own or rent the house?

I think you need legal advice rather than counselling at this stage. 💐

serena1988 · 15/12/2025 09:50

@ChristmasinBrightonno that’s the issue too. Engaged but not married, have nothing on my name, he owns the house. I don’t think I have any hope at getting anything other than benefits as I’ve been stupid enough to end up in such a situation.

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