Please be gentle, I know I should’ve left a long time ago and it’s taken me too long to realise that the promised change was never going to happen.
I don’t want to put too many details as to out myself but a few days ago ex came to pick up some stuff but started shouting (he had walked in angry) I sent DC upstairs and stayed out the kitchen as ex has form for not calming down quickly and coming to me around the house to continue his rant, so I stayed out kitchen and just stayed quiet and thought if I just do that it’s the furthest point in house from where DC are so they’ll hear less and also if I don’t respond to him and just let him rant then he’ll drop it quicker as I’m not then adding fuel to the fire.
But then he started shouting at teen DS that he’s got attitude and to take younger DD out of the house and when he didn’t do that within a few minutes he shouted at him again to listen and to get out with DD, DS’ friend was upstairs too so heard the whole thing and went out with them. I just froze, I should’ve spoke up and said something (and I have in the past when he’s shouted) but in the moment I didn’t want to make the situation worse and start a shouting match and I just couldn’t move from the spot out the kitchen.
ex has gone now, I won’t ever let him back in the house but I need advice on how best to support DC, especially DS, he’s quite introverted anyway so will keep things close to his chest, I’ve apologized obviously and reassured him that his dad won’t come back but some practical advice would be great,
DD (7) is more outward with her emotions so easier to spot when she’s struggling.