Dating

[SassyCrab]

I’ve recently been seeing this guy and he has made a suggestion to book a really expensive restaurant for our date, this close to Christmas I would not be willing to go unless he pays but at same time do not want to say let’s go somewhere cheaper as a bit embarrassing. Is it bad I assume he will pay? I just find it awkward going for dinners with someone I barely know due to the bill situation. Any advice?

Be honest, 2 weeks to Christmas your budget won’t stretch to that restaurant. If he’s really into you he will either come back with a cheaper alternative or say my treat.

I always go halves on first dates - so I'd say something like "sounds lovely but that would be tough on my December budget! What about (insert cheaper place)" and go from there.

I don't understand what there is to be embarrassed about?

Did he say he would take you to dinner there? Insinuation being, it is his idea therefore he should pay?
if a guy invites me on a date I expect him to pay. I may offer but usually they take care of it before it’s even a thing.

Yeah he initiated it and picked the restaurant and told me he wants to go to a really nice restaurant in London, if I suggest to go somewhere cheaper it’s like I’m not happy with his idea that he’s looked into and booked. Also he went ahead and booked the restaurant which had a deposit to be paid which I then find rude to say let’s go somewhere cheaper. I’m the same! I feel like if a man made me split the bill, it would put me off them and I wouldn’t want to take it further! I’m use being with men that pay for the bills, but the last few days he’s been moaning about his finances which again I find a bit of a red flag 🙈

If he invited you he should pay, it’s really rude otherwise.
but yes IMO men moaning about money is a huge red flag. I had a guy complain about the cost of a bottle of champagne HE ordered on a date once, presumably to make me feel bad? It’s so off putting.
if you’re worried you could clarify before ordering that it’s definitely his treat, and if he has an issue I would leave as he doesn’t deserve to be on the date with you quite frankly.

I would say to him that you really appreciate him picking such a lovely restaurant but that it is way outside of your budget in the run up to Christmas. Propose a couple of options that suit you better. If he can't deal with it or doesn't offer to pay, then he is probably not worth continuing with.