Have namechanged as there is a lot of info here.
This friend and I have been friends for 15 years, and best friends for about 10 years. We lived together for 4 years. We were always together and did everything together.
When we moved in together it was fine for a while, and then she started to be weird. We got a phone line installed, which we agreed together to do, and I was the one to organise it, so it was in my name.
The same thing happened with a few other pieces of furniture we bought on HP. We went shopping together, chose them together, discussed and agreed how much we could each afford and then 'bought' them together, but everything was in my name (she said she could not get credit).
A few weeks/months later, she decided she couldn't afford any of these things and so therefore would not be contributing to the bills. I had signed all the contracts so I was left with the bills, which I could not afford. As a result, I got into a lot of debt.
Then, her boyfriend moved in, and she continued to pay only half the rent, which I agreed to as obviously they shared a room. We also split the bills and CT 50/50, half to her and her DP, half to me. She ignored me when I tried to talk to her, and said she was busy. They would come home, stay in her room all night and I would never see them. It was very
After about a year (I know..) I realised I was being taken for a ride and told her I could no longer do it. She announced that they would have to move out.
Anyway, this was a while ago, and as we were friends I let it all go, and things were better between us, I never brought up all the things that had happened and I got on with our friendship. All fine.
After a few years, I realised I was the one making all the effort, and she would text me but that was about it. We would make plans and she would cancel them at the last minute, all the time. So, one night I told her all this and she was really upset and said she knows that she does that but she doesn't love her fiance (the same man who lived with us years ago, they have been together about 9 years now) and needs me there for when they eventually split up. She says she is going to leave him all the time, and never does.
Then, when I became pregnant she was great, our friendship really got back on track. She was brilliant, helpful, visited me a lot etc. I asked her to be DS godmother, she accepted, and came to the chapel, stood up and did the whole thing.
DS is 3.5 now, and she has only met him about 6 times. She has never babysat (though she has been asked, and many of my other friends have), she didn't some round for his birthday party (to which there were about 25 of my other friends there), She didn't come round at Christmas, and the last time she saw him was around August last year, because we met her by chance in a shopping centre.
I decided I was not going to waste any more of my time trying to be friends with her. All the effort was on my side, and I have better things to do.
The thing is, I have loads of friends, and really don't need her friendship. But she does not have friends, and she is into doing things alone, swimming, cycling, running etc. She never really goes out, and doesn't come out for any of our friends 'events' (birthdays, get-together meals, nights out, lunches etc, which we have really often).
I haven't spoken to her since December, and the rest of our friends have also stopped inviting her out with us, as she always says no (and she was also more 'my' friend anyway, she was really more friends with them through me, IYKWIM) I was fairly resigned to the fact that we were not friends any more, and was only really bothered by it because she is DS godmother.
Anyway.. last week she emailed me. She said sorry for not being in touch for a while and she hopes we are well and maybe catch up soon.
What should I do?
a) reply and say 'nice to hear from you, we are fine thanks' (short and unfriendly)
b) reply with a detailed explanation of why I haven't been in touch, and why I feel this way
c) no reply
d) other option..
I hope I have explained this well enough, obviously there is more too it but think this is enough.. and thank you for getting this far!
Any advice on how to progress?