So *issed off!

[Mooga123]

Been having difficulties for a while husband shows zero affection. Always prioritises everything before me, football darts his phone.

We had an argument again about a week ago but nothing is resolved and nothing changes.

I messaged him the other day hows yr day going. Didn't read it. I was so infuriated i deleted the message the next day. He never asks how my day was i always make him a coffee and ask about his. He literally doesn't talk to me. I have tried to get him to communicate but its impossible.

Anyway today i message about some thing important to me (getting gift for someone) as tine is getting on. He hasnt read message.

I am so upset , i just feel trapped having to put a brave face on at christmas when he will not discuss anything says im unhappy and that im not happy with him. How can i be happy when dont dont talk laugh or have intimacy?.

Where will you be in 5 years? What does it look like?
what does he bring to the table?
if nothing then Make plans to leave
Get informed on assets.
You can change your behaviour.
You cannot change him

What is the point of you and he being together at all?.
This is who he is and he is not going to change. You can make a better life for yourself going forward by separating from him.

Why not end the relationship and find something better?

Wow that's tough. Perhaps you both feel trapped. Some (most?) men struggle to articulate their feelings. In your shoes, I'd say upfront "We need to talk. I'm not happy in this relationship. Maybe you aren't either. Can we make a time when we are both free to talk?" If he says "I don't want to talk about it" then you can reply "Would you like to separate?" Don't say "Do you want me to leave?" - if he says Yes then you will be put on the spot. I don't know whether you have children or if you jointly own your home. Be aware that women are at their most vulnerable when they are leaving a relationship. If you are worried about a violent response, wait until you are in public before having this conversation. Good luck.

We have children they are both over 18 now. Fell pregnant early on with dd after a shorttime together. I just wanted to work things out. 😪

Take yourself off for a break somewhere and see how long until he notices.. don't respond or reply.. see how he likes it

If he's been like this for 18 years it seems unlikely he'll change now.

He sounds completely checked out of your marriage. His behaviour isn't going to change.

Do you want to stay with him as he is now?

Was he ever very responsive? Are you just noticing it more now you don't have DC distraction?

Honestly, this isn't going to change. You deserve better. You can put it plainly and see whether anything changes but expect you need to split.

Start building your own life. Act as if he’s nothing but a house mate. Spend your time doing things for you. And divorce him

Whilst I don't agree with not letting him know where you are (he could call the Police and waste everyone's time!) I do think going away or even just investing more time in you is the way to go.

Either he will continue to ignore you - in which case you will know it is really over and there is nothing you can do.

Or he will get a taste of what it's like to not have a wife around to make him coffee and listen to his day. And it might give him the kick up the bum he needs.

That’s clearly never going to happen.

Hes checked out, and he’s not going to change. Your kids sound like adults now. Now is your time - ditch this man who clearly doesn’t give a shit.

Oh op it does sound like your h has checked out and did so along time back,

What you need to do is start building your friendships be independent of him,
So leave him a list of presents he needs to get for his family let him pick up some of the slack, he couldn't be bothered to reply to your msg that's not OK but he did anyway, start doing it your way, come the new year you'll probably know what you need to do,
Remember op ' no response is a response' so you now need to do it his way see how he likes it,

Look up ' let them theory ' honestly its a ' the penny dropped moment '