Lonely

[Proudmummy2018]

I’ve been married for 21 years and I love my husband but things have been hard for a while. My husband had mental health issues but things had been improving until 2 weeks ago. Since then he’s been cold distant not spent much time with me and when I say anything he gets grumpy moody and completely cuts off. I miss talking feeling safe in my marriage feeling close and just feeling good enough. I don’t no what I’m going to do as he doesn’t want to talk to me about any
of this so I can’t see how things will ever get better, I asked him tonight if after tea we could have some time on our own to talk and his response was I’m not doing this tonight I’m not in the mood. I’ve tried to text him and try and say how I feel but he leaves my messages unread. I’m just at a loss and worried sick

Do you suspect there is another woman ?

No I 100% sure that’s not the case at all. The only issue for me on that side of it is his use of porn and looking on social media at woman a lot and that how things have been for 2 weeks he still has time to do all this

How awful! That’s practically cheating. Are you possibly codependent with him?

The only issue for me on that side of it is his use of porn and looking on social media at woman a lot

Thats a pretty big issue OP.

Personally I would end the relationship over this. I couldn't be married to a man who used porn and who perved over other women.

I feel like it’s cheating as well and I’ve told him before how much I don’t like it and how it makes me feel worthless and not good enough but it doesn’t seem to make a difference he just says he’s doesn’t do it but I no for 100% he does. I love and I want to make this work but I just don’t no how

I am sorry but he is being completely disrespectful towards you. Being cold and moody with you but choosing look at porn and perving over women online in preference to talking to you? No wonder you feel discarded and lonely. What are his mental health issues exactly?

Low erratic moods completely closed to my emotions completely unapproachable are the main symptoms of his mental health issues so many doctors appointment over the years no proper diagnosis the last month he claims there’s nothing wrong with him that the pills he’s been on have caused him to be like it and he no longer needs them as there is nothing wrong. Thats my issue but I have said so many times about the porn and woman and his response makes me feel like I’m being stupid and unfair like it shouldn’t bother me

OP he sounds very selfish and uncaring. So if there was no diagnosis what was the medication he was taking and what was it for?
From what you describe it seems he is a very self absorbed man who has no interest in communicating with you but prioritises porn and other women on line. From your user name l assume you have children, how is he with them?

OP is it mental health or is he just a bit of an arsehole? You deserve better.