Hostile environment at work

[Dymund]

Hi all, try to keep it brief as it is a long story.
Been working in a mid-level position at a trauma informed service within the NHS for 5 years. Over the years, the team has doubled in size.

My issues started two months ago when I experienced a lot of frustrations due to lack of team support and things being in cohesive, one such issue was the lack of punctuality and reliability of staff, which often left me working alone to manage all tasks within the office for extended periods of time. On the last occasion that this happened, I came into work and my desk was a mess with left over food and crumbs left by someone who had been using my work area whilst I wasn’t on shift. When another colleague finally came in and asked how I was, and I was very upset and it led to a mini tirade of me expressing my frustrations.

A meeting was then held where I pointed out multiple things that I was unhappy about, which included workplace bullying of another colleague, unreliable and unpunctual staff, micro aggressions and people generally abusing the workplace. I admit I did get quite upset and was voicing my frustrations, and I may have come across as quite intense.

After this, the manger instilled a “no eating” policy in the office, making up the time if you’re late, etc. I was definitely burned out and frustrated, so I took time off sick.

When I returned, the atmosphere was quite quiet. There’s was a situation that came up with another colleague. The day in question, I was at a work training session all morning, then when I got to the office, we said good afternoon to each other and we talked about making cups of teas, and I talked about the work training session with the staff, and they asked me a particular question and I answered. She then asked the exact same question, so I just repeated myself. And I feel like she done this deliberately to draw me in to her in some sort of way?

The next day, she came into work and bursted out crying to everyone in the office saying that I ignored her the prior day, and that day was absolutely awful for her. Everyone gave her a group hug. I was so shocked, and it seemed so random. The manager pulled me in for a chat, and I explained everything and that she’s just playing a game.

Also, I was told that people had started using a new nickname for me in my absence, and the nickname is based on the idea that I came across as loud, intense, and over the top. Instead of the focus being on why the situation was unmanageable, the attention shifted onto me and my behaviour.

I was admittedly quite hurt about this, and questioned the woman about why she said it and didn’t defend me in my absence, but she justified the nickname again, and said it was due to my outburst in the meeting.

I feel like I shouldn’t have come back to work and I’ve just had enough. I’m nearing retirement and I don’t know if I should stick it out or find somewhere else to work. Any advice or suggestions? Thanks in advance x

Hi,
Sorry to read you're experiencing hostility at work. I don't have any particular experience with this but have some suggestions.

The first thing I would address is the name calling. No-one should call you anything but your name without your consent as this is unacceptable. No-one should be justifying the choice of name.

The toxicity should be addressed by senior staff and all staff reminded of the standards expected in the workplace especially as they have an understanding of trauma informed services.

• No micro-aggression should be tolerated.
• Bullying of colleague should be addressed.

An agenda should be created for a staff meeting and awareness raising of any relevant policies or procedures should be included.

If you've not yet had your return to work meeting, you could raise the points you've made in this post there and ask for it to be addressed anonymously.

How long since you returned from sick leave? You might just have to wait a bit for the ice to thaw. I get that it’s not comfortable but there was a bit of a drama around the meeting that made everyone on edge and you need to give them a minute to get comfortable with you again. Taking sick leave made the awkward air more awkward so it’ll be another minute. If you can hold your nerve and just get on with it, I think everything will soon fall into a more comfortable environment.

You work in a trauma informed environment? Do you mean a therapeutic setting? If so this sounds absolutely awful. I don't know what to say.

It sounds as if you're the one creating a lot of the toxicity so maybe consider how your own actions are contributing to an overall team environment.

You say:
"a mini tirade of me expressing my frustrations" - that's not acceptable, you need to stay professional, not go on a tirade

"was voicing my frustrations, and I may have come across as quite intense" - not acceptable, as above

"is based on the idea that I came across as loud, intense, and over the top. Instead of the focus being on why the situation was unmanageable, the attention shifted onto me and my behaviour." - I think you need to consider your behaviour and how people see you.

"said it was due to my outburst in the meeting" You shouldn't be having outbursts in meetings, see above.

I really think it sounds as if you are part of the problem.