Online dating 'local' boundary

[TwilightSky]

Quite a few times I have had men tell me I am weird or get annoyed (even semi-hostile a couple of times) if I say that I won't consider engaging in any sexual conversations unless they live locally.
Obviously before or after that there is the standard compatibility checks, and if all good including living locally, its open topics.
Is this a weird boundary to set?

In your OP you said “men get annoyed if I say that I won’t even consider having a sexual conversation unless they live locally”. That makes it sound like you would consider engaging in a sexual conversation if they DID live locally. My point is that most women, if they object to sex chat in OLD, object to it regardless of the location of the man, and setting a location boundary on who you’ll date is a different thing entirely.

@Elektra1 yes, if they live locally then I can meet with them. I can't if they don't.

Right. So that’s totally different to “I won’t consider a sexual conversation unless they live locally.” Why not just “I won’t consider a conversation unless they live locally”? What’s the relevance of the sexual element?

@Elektra1 what is wrong with general conversation? I am happy to make friends wherever. I have had good respectful PM conversations with people even on here, including men.

Anyone who objects to your boundary is clearly a non-starter.

You could say that you only want to engage online with a fellow Catholic, Vegan, Accountant, French person from Algeria and that is your prerogative and up to you to decide. If someone objects, they can move on to the next swipe!

So, if you have decided you only want to do sex chat with local men, then that's your choice and if someone doesn't like it, you say next and they can find someone else to sex chat with. You are free to decide that and they are free to find you weird!

@MargoLivebetter thank you for your response. I appreciate it 🙂

You can choose who and why to sext, really. Personally I don't care about the distance as I sometimes just want to feel sexy and get off, not really bound to meet for a shag.

so your boundary is that you will have sex chat but only with the locals?

@MazeyP there may be plenty of women similar to yourself and the girlfriend of mine I mentioned earlier, I have no idea. But if that is what you enjoy, go for it.

@Elektra1 yes, because I can meet them first before we proceed. Also, so it can acted upon if the chat is engaging and fun.

Therefore, the “sex” element is completely unnecessary from your OP. You’re only willing to chat to and/or date local people. Saying “not prepared to have sex chat unless you’re local” is unnecessary and doesn’t reflect your actual position, which is that you’re only willing to date someone local.

@Elektra1 okay, thanks for your opinion

Is it because you know it won't lead to a relationship if they aren't local? I'm not really sure where you're coming from

Or are you just looking for casual sex and don't want to get into sex chat if they won't be available for that?

I think the general confusion amongst people responding to your OP is indicative that my “opinion”
is a fact.

This. I went through a divorce at the start of the year and not looking for a LTR again yet.

That's totally fair enough then. Don't let them waste your time!

Okay, cool

Thanks 🙂