Is this too much to ask of DS's dad?

[MrsSnape]

I have been seperated from DS's dad for nearly 4 years. He now lives with someone else (who has 2 kids) and pays maintanance every month for our DC's.

Anyway apart from this he never buys the kids anything (apart from christmas and birthdays) and never contributes to anything like school uniform, school trips...doesn't even give them pocket money to go on holiday with.

Anyway last week DS1 was in a karate tournament which cost me £10 for the event and £20 in petrol...I've also spent a fortune on pads, gum shields, uniforms, gradings etc etc...none of which I mind of course but it does leave me a bit skint most of the time.

In two weeks DS wants to be entered into another tournament which is further away (about an hour and a half so probably about £25 in petrol) and £15 for the event itself. He also has a grading this month which is another £15.

I'm a single parent on income support so this is a bit of a struggle to say the least.

So...I text his dad and asked if he would pay for the event...£15 that's all. I know he gets paid on Friday.

Is it alot to ask since he does pay maintanance or should he help out a bit? I know they are having finantial problems but that doesn't stop him running a petrol guzzling sports car

Just to add, he has so far ignored a text message and two phone calls so it doesn't look promising.

Well it isn't a lot to ask, really. However, is the maintenance he pays you court mandatd or agreed via the CSA, and if not, is it more or less than what the CSA or a court would say was fair (I think it's about 15% of his income). If he's paying less than that in an informal arrangment, is it worth getting tough with him or at least reminding him that if you got all legal on his arse he'd have to pay more?

Its an odd situation really...it was worked out by the CSA and he pays it every 4 weeks but its worked out as him having the kids to stay every weekend. He doesn't though, he has them every fortnight so taking that into consideration he should be paying more....

BUT...its also worked out as him not having any other children dependant on him, this is not the case as he now has his girlfriends kids living with him so taking THAT into consideration...he'd probably have to pay less.

So all in all, I think it would work out about that same if both of these points were taken into consideration IYSWIM?

I only actually get £10 of his maintanance though as the rest gets taken away in income support. (Not his fault I know).

i am in the same situ as you. my ex pays maintenance direct to me and it is knocked off my single parent benefit, i don't see the 1st tenner like you cos mine is under old rules.

Like you, i have worked out if he would pay more through csa, answer is no, cos they will take new wifes 2 kids into account and knock 15% of his income off for her kids, before mine get anything...get this though, they don't take his wife's wage into account and she's on more than him! I think its a disgrace that they take her kids into account, but not her money...CSA madness.

Anyway, they would knock more off your ex's wage for the new kids, than you'd get for the extra weekends, so i wouldn't bother, he'll pay less than he does now.

I don't get any extra either for activities, shoes, school stuff, and he never gives them spends or anything.

Thinking about it, he's a complete twat.

I was in the same situation when ex and I first split.
If I ever asked him for any money, his reply would be "you get enough from the CSA"
It used to drive me mad though that he would take them to Toys R Us and spend loads on toys so he could ease his guilt and play 'good daddy', while I was struggling to buy them shoes.
Sorry not much help there was I . No its not a lot to ask, and he should help out!