Help, would you go?

[User345name]

Im sperated from lt partner but still living under his roof for now as i have no where to go.
He keeps asking why am i here, and can i go live with family. The answer is no, ive asked him if he can stay with his parents until i find somewhere but he’s refusing as its ‘his’ house.
I have considered emergency accommodation but im unsure as i have dogs and kids.
would you stay put until something comes up or go.

Why can’t you find somewhere to rent?

Something isn’t going to “come up” unless you go looking for it. How pro-active are you being about looking for an alternative?

How many kids and dogs do you have and how old are they?

Is the house rented?
Are you both on the lease?

MN hive mind is a marvellous resource to help you but we need more info and context.

I would go, that sounds insufferable for you both. You won’t like this but if it means housing yourself and your kids then you might have to leave the dog behind for now but you do need to find somewhere.
I don’t know how emergency accommodation works but if you go to the council and say he’s made you leave I think they have a duty to house you but check with citizens advice because you don’t want to be seen as intentionally homeless if you leave.
Look up shelter for advice to start with.

I'm on his side. If it's 'his' home and you have agreed to separate then it is up to you to move and soon. How rude to think it's ok to 'stay until something comes up', honestly OP you don't sound like you have any motivation to find somewhere and are not being proactive at all. What are you expecting? Somebody to scoop you up and sort it for you? For him to take time to find you somewhere?
I am not saying it's easy, before other people shout me down, I'm saying doing nothing is not an option.

Speak to Citizen's Advice or Shelter, if you have children and are made homeless, I think the council have to provide emergency accommodation. Is it actually his house? Does he own it or rent?

What’s your situation financially? Can you afford to rent privately? Is he the children’s father? Do you work? have enough for a deposit?
I know you said you can’t stay with family but would they support you in finding suitable accommodation or with a deposit? It sounds like you don’t have the resources.

Are your kids also his?
Whose name is on the mortgage or rental agreement?

Is he the father of the children? If so, he is being very unreasonable.

If the kids aren’t his, you’re being a CF to ask him to move out of his own house in favour of you and your children.

Ive looked for rental but I cannot afford them they are so expensive and the deposit i dont have that either, plus i have no furniture or anything and the very few i found cheap didn’t allow dogs.
i have applied for social housing but it may take a while.
they are his dc, and he own the house himself.

I’m sorry you’re in the situation OP, and not being married does make it very additionally challenging. What support do you have by way of family and friends?

Mediation might be able to help you and it can be free.

What is your ex partner proposing to do about your / his childcare responsibilities if you move out and the kids stay put?

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/how-to-separate1/mediation-to-help-you-separate/#:~:text=How%20much%20mediation%20costs,make%20your%20agreement%20legally%20binding

can I check - are you married to him?

If you are not married you have been very stupid to move into his house and had kids with him I’m sorry to say.

anyway - how old are the kids? Would you be willing for them to live with him (and the dog) and you move out? Is this what he is asking you to do?

Are you on the housing list? Have you looked for a house share/lodger room. If you don’t have any dependents this may be the easiest route.

you need to leave though. Good luck 💐

Speak to the housing team at the council for advice.

She has children.

So he wants you to leave and leave the kids and dogs with him or you to move out and take them all with you? Very unfair as they are his kids.

Ye he wanted kids to stay but for me to come early and sort them for school and later for bed

But kids & dogs will eventually come with me

It sounds like an abusive situation OP if he is throwing you out knowing you can't find somewhere for your children.

I think people would udnerstand that more clearly if you had explained they were your joint children.

LOL. He’s hilarious. Wants you to move out, yet come twice a day to parent the kids during HIS contact time at his house. That’s cute.

True i should have stated that in the thread

Op have you got legal advice? Have you got child maintenance agreed for when you leave as that will top up your income, but if you leave the kids with him you may be required to pay him maintenance.

If they are his kids then finding you a new place is a joint problem to solve, including finding the deposit money.

Do you work?

Leave the dog with him if you can only afford places that won’t accept the dog.

@RomeoRivers no unfortunately i dont work as i have a child with additional needs and takes a lot of my time, but youngest isnt in school or nursery yet,
therefore i cant afford private rent
even flats ive looked at are 8/900 per month
i dont think he’d give me much either

Tell your ex that in order to move out, you will need to get a job, so it is down to him to sort childcare to facilitate this.

You can get housing benefit to cover the rent and I think there is some sort of deposit scheme the council can help with but you need to get proper advice.
Sadly he isn’t on your team anymore so you need to talk to someone who knows what your options and best interests will be.