Sexless relationship

[lucyB8]

I need some advice.

I have been with my partner 15 years, in the beginning the sex was great but the last 4-5 years my partner seems to have no sexual desire whatsoever and I’m feeling like I’m not attractive to him.

i have spoken to him repeatedly and he said he just never thinks of sex, he’s 49 and I’m 41.

I know this sounds selfish but I want to feel wanted again, the slightest bit of male attention these days makes me feel like I’m still desirable. I have never cheated in my life but am finding myself being flirty with men and I hate myself for it.

He has been to the doctors and has had tests and everything is fine. We don’t have children either so it’s not even a time thing.

Has anyone else experienced this in their relationship? Apart from the sex he’s perfect in every way.

My marriage is the same and am now too old to move on and wish I had earlier. Leave the relationship sexless is demoralising and will sap your self esteem. You are young enough to find a more suitable partner and he is not perfect or suitable.

If, as you say, he's perfect in every other way then I think you should just live with it, sorry. After all these years together, it sounds like you still ove each other, and like each other, and that is very, very precious.

Very difficult but not good for your confidence, you deserve to be desired. Explain to him that he needs to make an effort. I would find this very difficult as I love affection, with giving and receiving pleasure very important. Whip him into shape or move on.

You need to tell him its making you reconsider the relationship

When I speak to him he gets defensive. He hugs me etc but I’m a sexual person and I need intimacy as at the moment it’s like we are best friends that live together

What do you think about my suggestion? So he undersrands

She’s only been with him for fifteen years, I wouldn’t consider that ‘all these years’.

It’s important to her that she is in a relationship that includes sex. If she said that she had been in a fifteen year relationship and her partner was no longer interested in having conversations with her would you be saying that she should put up with it?

I agree with @Wrenjay and with @Merseymum1980

I have spoken to him and said all of this before, he seems to make an effort for a few weeks and then it’s back to normal

Is he on sleeping tablets or medication?
Do you live together?
If not do you think he is using porn or escorts? X

He’s on high blood pressure tablets that’s it.

We live together, don’t think it’s porn.

Is he overweight? Bad lifestyle?
What caused the high bloid pressuee?

If she'd been in a 15 year relationship with him and everything was perfect, except no long conversations (so, in your scenario the sex would be great!) then, yes, I'd say she should put up with it, in my opinion. If he literally didn't utter, that would be different but OP says that he is affectionate and eg hugs.

I mean OP is free to do as she likes! But my opinion is that a kind, loving, non-cheating man who is otherwise 'perfect in every way' and who she still likes/loves after 15 years together is, despite his lack of libido, low-key miraculous and someone to cherish.

Hi op you need to say the relationship is perfect except this. It feels like 2 best mates house sharing. so if he’s not willing to have sex you need to move on its going to hurt no matter what you do but it’s either perfect or crap but you need to decide if sex is more important than everything else. If so go for it. You might meet men who just want sex which might suit you for now not all men are great you only have to read on here so many selfish bastards but sex is part of the relationship it’s very important. Unless you both didn’t want it.