What ducks do I need in a row and where do I stand?

[hadenoughbutalone]

I’m working out if I could even think about divorce / separation from my DH practically speaking, but don’t know where to begin.

He is a big earner, we live in London where we rent - very expensive even though only a small 2-bed. He gets paid a lot then has an annual bonus. DD is 5 in Year 1. Since her birth which was during Covid my freelance work has dried up a lot what with maternity leave and Covid affecting my line of work etc so I now work very part time, whilst I am restraining (another 2.5 years to go) and volunteer as well as look after DD.

We are renting privately. We used to own but sold up and DH wasted the equity on gambling / crypto so we have zero savings. There is also debt - I don’t know how much.

How would I begin to work out what to do if I ended up leaving DH? Where would I stand financially in terms of child maintenance and also roof over our head type of thing? I have no real earning power at present.

I am scared and have no-one I can speak to about this, no supportive family or friends around.

Sorry, I have no advice, but bumping for you in case someone with more knowledge sees this.

If you know his income, you can put it into the CMS calculator to give you an idea of what he would have to pay, although some dads will go to any lengths to avoid paying it (not saying this is the case, but your divorcing him for a reason).

You can also use a benefits calculator like 'turn to us' to find out if you would get any assistance there, but depending on how part time your freelance work is, universal credit might require you to look for other work. You can run different scenarios through the calculator with potential work options, childcare costs and rent to try and find something workable.

Suspect you will have to live with family or a house share unless hubby is going to fund a rental for you. You need to full time job

You will need to work more than “very part time” and potentially pause retraining to prioritise earning for a while, you can use a calculator to see what benefits / maintenance you might be entitled to.

Id speak to a lawyer about divorce, especially as it doesn’t sound like there’s many assets (pensions perhaps?) to split, but instead debt.

You may be able to apply for spousal maintenance, get copies of payslips, tax, bank accounts qnd see a solicitor, he has to pay cm. For ducks in a row you need copies of all your finances, passports, marriage certs, birth certs, anything that provides financial and personal info. What's on your lease.

Spousal v rare I thought? If the dh has 50:40 care there’d be be no maintenance?

With enormous apologies in advance OP your situation has red flags all over it in terms of you receiving much from your ex. With no family home to potentially sell and no savings there is nothing to divide up to give you a start and you might be allocated part of the debt.
You are going to struggle enormously to rent if you don't have an income. You really do need to focus on getting your income back to a decent level, even if it means pausing your studies. Or stay together (given he is effectively supporting you not earning) until you have qualified and can get a full time job.

Start by finding out about the debt, how much and who's nane(s) it is in together with what your husband's salary is. You also need to find a full time paid job ASAP.