I've dated a couple of men from online dating for a few months where it has taken the same pattern. Strong interest from them at first and we seemingly get on, which eventually ends up where they text me but it ends up being me having to take the reigns and suggesting dates and things to do and the heavy lifting in the relationship. Their effort deteriorates to putting in the bare minimum and they don't tell me how they feel about me, eventually fading out by postponing seeing me and sometimes ghosting. It comes across to me to be deep signs of emotional unavailability and avoidant attachment or fear of commitment by that point I would think.
I wondered if I come across as too nice and accommodating and if people want to test how much they can get away with, however I also don't want to be too no nonsense with people when dating and analyse every text from men in online dating. How do people identify these types in online dating who are simply useless when it comes to building something long term? I just want to meet someone nice, but people eventually seem like they are avoiding spending time with me, don't want connection, and stringing me along. You also seem to get the types who come across in chats and early dates as being very busy with work and hobbies, which I certainly avoid because I perceive that those things will be used as excuses to not see you. Presumably there must be men who dont want to be in a life of singlehood and want a partner out there.
I've been told by others I would be better to meet someone through an activity in person, and whilst I'm happy to do that, I'm well into my 30s and my experience of doing different activities is that you don't necessarily meet people with dating potential from them, you meet people who like that activity and are all ages, genders, and not necessarily single etc.