Hi everyone,
A bit of background.
In May of this year my marriage of 4 years came to an end, he was very financially controlling and he put me through hell with both of my pregnancies and going behind my back with other women. We spilt after he left me for his affair partner and it absolutely broke me.
Since then that man has stalked me round work as I work in the same nursery as my kids, looking through the windows of the rooms for me when collecting the kids, looking through my windows at home, turning up early to drop the kids off to see what I’m doing, I had to get a camera outside my house as the health visitor recommended I do that. I am now being supported by harbour, police and my health visitor.
They have recommended me that I should move, so I’ve decided to go home. I don’t feel safe in the area I used to live in and I’m moving about 30 minutes to the next city and keeping my address quiet from my ex as recommended. I had flu and he was really harassing me to sign my rights away on the marital home it was getting relentless and I just grabbed the kids and we up and left to our families straight away. He still coparents and I’m staying with my grandparents till we get a home.
My best friend has went on horrendously since she found out. I told everyone in our mams group chat that I was going to stay with family for a while for a bit of a mental break to just get away from the stress and she ERUPTED telling me just upping and leaving was concerning, that she was coming to my home for a chit chat, and just berating me in the group chat. Saying “are you having a breakdown, you can manage your kids on your own and if you can’t you should just say” the full group chat turned into an intervention and everyone was telling me to “let them in” and “they’re concerned I upped and left” without saying anything. I told them I was fine and I wanted to just have a break from the area I’ve been through so much crap in. Well she’s not spoke to me in a week till today to fish for information which makes me think she’s been in touch with my ex, she’s also been meeting up with the friend group and not inviting me. I’ve literally been excluded all for going to spend time with my family. I’ve decided I’m not returning to the area now. I got permission to leave from my ex to move to the area so we’re doing this move immediately.
I had no support there, she never even popped in to help with a pint of milk or loaf of bread when I had flu, she’s never there unless it benefits her. Wouldn’t even pick up the phone to me.
She moved to Northern Ireland when her relationship with her coparent fell apart during Covid, and I spoke to her everyday, I supported her move as much as it broke me she was going. I just wanted her to be happy. I don’t understand why she’s went on the way she has and it’s broke me. How do I approach this for just trying to have a better life for me and my babies?
I only moved to the area I’m moving from for my exes work to be closer, why can’t I go home to my family? If I’m back home I can get my driving lessons done, so many things with having support. I used to put the kids to bed and twiddle my fingers alone. I’m totally miffed by all of this.