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Original poster

For single parents

24 replies

MushroomCloud · 06/12/2025 19:25

This is for single parents, has anyone felt undateable as a single parent and like no one will want them now? I honestly can’t see a man wanting me now as a single parent, it’s a reason ive stayed single for so long as I’ve been scared to date again even though realistically I know other single mums that have met someone else. I’m open to dating another parent as long as the children are teenagers or older (like my own) but I still feel like no one would want me now (I have been told this by a few people) has anyone felt this way and how did you change your mindset?

OP posts:
roses942 · 06/12/2025 19:59

No, I dont feel undatable. I choose not to date and dont want anyone in my life or my son's life. At least for now, and possibly forever as it really does not bother me.
i love my freedom and not having to compromise in anything or simply consider anyone else in my decisions. It really is liberating and the thought of dealing with anyone, let alone living together, sends shivers down my spine.

Original poster
MushroomCloud · 06/12/2025 20:01

roses942 · 06/12/2025 19:59

No, I dont feel undatable. I choose not to date and dont want anyone in my life or my son's life. At least for now, and possibly forever as it really does not bother me.
i love my freedom and not having to compromise in anything or simply consider anyone else in my decisions. It really is liberating and the thought of dealing with anyone, let alone living together, sends shivers down my spine.

Ah that’s ok but then this doesn’t apply to you then I’m wondering about those that do want to date again

OP posts:
MaybeNextYear2026 · 06/12/2025 20:01

You will just get replies telling you not to date and to put your child first. Mumsnet hates step parents almost as much as it hates single mothers.
I did meet someone and he is the best thing to ever happen to me and my child. He was friends with cousin first so knew I had a child before asking me out which was good.

Original poster
MushroomCloud · 06/12/2025 20:02

Aimed at those that do want to date again

OP posts:
Original poster
MushroomCloud · 06/12/2025 20:02

MaybeNextYear2026 · 06/12/2025 20:01

You will just get replies telling you not to date and to put your child first. Mumsnet hates step parents almost as much as it hates single mothers.
I did meet someone and he is the best thing to ever happen to me and my child. He was friends with cousin first so knew I had a child before asking me out which was good.

Seems it’s already started but thank you that’s great to hear you’ve met someone.

OP posts:
OneBlueDreamer · 06/12/2025 20:06

Im not ready to date yet and probably won't be for some time. I have 2 teenagers and a toddler and I do have moments when I think 'who's going to want me' and it does make me sad but on the other side of it I wonder who I'd really want in my life and my kids life. My past relationships have always meant me compromising most, losing my freedom etc and im just getting used to being me again.

CamillaMcCauley · 06/12/2025 20:08

I don’t feel undatable (I have a boyfriend) though I wasn’t actively looking to date before he pursued me. If you have shared care with your ex, it’s completely possible to date but keep your relationship completely separate to your kids.

Having seen many blended family/new partner dramas, I am keen not to put my kids through that. I’m happy to be patient, possibly in part here because even in another decade or more, I don’t see myself feeling undatable.

bluedabadeedabadoo · 06/12/2025 20:16

there are lots and lots of single dads on these sites so it’s unlikely you will have an issue at all. If you just out on your profile that you have kids and only match people who have kids then you know straight away you are on the same wave length. I’ve dated on and off for years and every man I’ve dated has been a dad. I’ve never got to the blended family part but many do and for many it works fine but for now finding dates shouldn’t be a problem 😊

Wheech · 06/12/2025 20:17

I kind of wondered if it would be the case when I started to date but actually there's a market for single parents on the dating scene because often other single parents want to meet someone with children too. It's easier to be with someone who understands the priorities a parent has. I made it clear on my profile I was a part time single parent, to weed out anyone who didn't want that, and had loads of matches and fun before I met my boyfriend who has grown up children himself.

Nightlight8 · 06/12/2025 20:18

No I don't feel like this exactly. More the dating scene isn't easy but DC isn't a teen yet and I don't have a lot of free time. I would give online a go OP.

Original poster
MushroomCloud · 06/12/2025 20:42

I guess it’s because people in the past have said this to me including my mum and sister! I’m open to a single parent but would need to have kids that are teens or older

OP posts:
bluedabadeedabadoo · 06/12/2025 20:45

MushroomCloud · 06/12/2025 20:42

I guess it’s because people in the past have said this to me including my mum and sister! I’m open to a single parent but would need to have kids that are teens or older

How old are you and what age range men are you looking for? There’s a real mix out there in terms of ages and older or younger kids so you should be fine. I was chatting to a 40 year old with a 16 and 19 year old and a 43 year old with a 12 and & year old.

Jellybunny56 · 06/12/2025 20:48

I’m not a single parent but have friends who are and none of them have struggled to find someone to date, the issue for them mainly has been trying to find the time to date & keep that separate from their child if dad isn’t particularly involved.

Original poster
MushroomCloud · 06/12/2025 20:50

I’m 36

OP posts:
Holshicup · 06/12/2025 20:56

Are your mum and sister commenting from personal experience ? Or just speculating ? Not hugely supportive from them. It completely depends on your circumstances,if you have time and space to develop a relationship then there shouldn't be any problem.
If you struggle with childcare then unfortunately it's tricky until the children are older and more independent.

Gettingbysomehow · 06/12/2025 20:58

I didn't date before DS left home as there is a certain type of cocklodger that hunts single parents for a free home and to be looked after.
I always attracted these types. Since then now Im on on my own in my 50s and 60s men are not interested in me and I don't want whats on offer because single men my age are sub standard.
Its hard.

INeedAnotherAlibi · 06/12/2025 20:59

Found myself newly single at 40 and met someone else a year later. I did find younger men were generally a no-go because they wanted DC and I can’t/won’t have any more. DP is also a single parent. We fell into a pattern of seeing each other EOW. Introduced the DC after 9 months but don’t meet altogether too often. DD’s Dad blended families very quickly and I don’t want to put too much pressure on her.
DD isn’t seeing her Dad at the moment so I am fortunate that DP will come here more (she likes him and is fine with him being here) and about once a month she stays with family so I stay at his. We won’t be moving in together for several years because of the DC (plus we are an hour apart so someone will be uprooting!) but it’s lovely as it is for now - chilled weekends together - TV, dog walks, dinner out, gigs - it’s a lot of fun and the future will happen when it happens.
Definitely not ‘undateable’ but more complex than being single without DC!

Original poster
MushroomCloud · 06/12/2025 20:59

Yes they are, my mum said men didn’t want anything serious because she was a single mum and my sister was agreeing with her also a single mum.

OP posts:
bluedabadeedabadoo · 06/12/2025 21:10

MushroomCloud · 06/12/2025 20:59

Yes they are, my mum said men didn’t want anything serious because she was a single mum and my sister was agreeing with her also a single mum.

There’s plenty out there who do, especially your age range.

Lavender14 · 06/12/2025 21:14

I feel undateable but not so much that men won't want me - more that they might have different priorities in which case would I want them? I guess what I'm now looking for in a man if it were to be anything long term or serious, is different than what I'd have been looking for if I was dating as a single woman with no kids. So that naturally narrows the pool because my standards are probably different and that's not a bad thing. Plus my timeline is very different- I'm the same age as you but I don't think I'll have any more kids (as much as I'd love to) because I'd want to move much slower dating someone and that window will probably close for me before I get to that point with someone. A guy might want to prioritise having a child of his own whereas what's right for the child I already have is my priority so we wouldn't be aligned in time frames there.

I think what probably makes me undateable is actually lack of childcare and how often I'd actually be able to see someone in order to date them. I have childcare for when I need to work in the evening but that's it. Paying someone to take care of my child in the evening for me to go out on a date that could be a bit of a dud feels like an expense I couldn't justify right now.

My sister was also a single parent with a couple of kids and she's been very happily loved up for a few years now.

I think you just need to be very upfront about what it is that you want and not waste your time with people who aren't clear on what they want. Plus I think at this age the dating pool is kind of tricky- a lot of nice men will be taken and are in committed marriages already so I think a lot are either hurrying to settle down and have a family/ are back on the market for whatever the reason/have issues with committing.

2old4thispoo · 06/12/2025 21:21

Gettingbysomehow · 06/12/2025 20:58

I didn't date before DS left home as there is a certain type of cocklodger that hunts single parents for a free home and to be looked after.
I always attracted these types. Since then now Im on on my own in my 50s and 60s men are not interested in me and I don't want whats on offer because single men my age are sub standard.
Its hard.

Can very much relate. I'm in my 50s and might as well be the invisible women.

4dc, youngest still at primary school, postmenopausal, looking older by the hour...

Not exactly got much going for me.

I don't find men in their 50s and 60s attractive.
🫢

Original poster
MushroomCloud · 06/12/2025 21:26

There’s no chance I’d move anyone into my home so not concerned about that aspect

OP posts:
ItsameLuigi · 06/12/2025 21:35

Just take your time. Protect the kids (don't give much info about them out) and only introduce when you feel confident about it. The right man is there, whether it's now or 10 years. My partner is a single dad too and I never thought anyone would be interested in me long term. I'm a mum to 2, he has 1 and we both are happy with no more ever lol.

Timebudda · 06/12/2025 21:45

My sister has 3 kids single mum.
She met her now partner a few year back, her kids are all moved out now.
But at the time they was still living at home.
She`s 41 and still with him.

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