Planning together as a family

[13five]

Do you sit with your partner and discuss short term and long term plans for the family?
Could you share what have you got planned, so far?

My dh and I are just chasing our tales really. Just taking the ‘we’ll see’ approach for bigger things like holidays, job changes, retirements, house move… but that’s not great.

I'm the main planner I usually discuss with dh what I think we should do long and short term, the possible options and the reasons why i think we should choose a certain option (im naturally a research/planner type) . He has a think and 9/10 will say yes I agree with you.

In the past it's been things like when to try for dc, me going pt after dc, doing a 5 year fix mortgage, where we should live etc.

Future agreed plans:
Go on a foreign holiday next year if our savings reach a certain amount.
Overpaying mortgage once we don't have nursery fees.
Making the most of the smaller house we have and moving when dc go to high school.

I would add if you're both 'we'll see' types thats no problem! You don't have to plan out your whole life and life throws surprises your way and plans change.

BUT if you're saying 'I want to have children in 5 years/move to France in 2028/retrain as a vet' and all you get back is 'we'll see' I'd be worried

I know you did say you are both 'we'll see' types but I do wonder why you posted?

Yes, sometimes. We go to lunch a few times a year while the kids are in school and talk about bigger plans. Mostly, it just comes up in conversation or is unspoken.

For example, we have no plans to ever move house, so that’s easy. We’re 20+ years off retirement, so we don’t do a lot of retirement planning other than discussing paying off the mortgage. We do discuss financial stuff, like we are overpaying the mortgage by one big payment a year, but that’s more like while we’re cooking dinner if discussing what money to move where this month or when we’re doing taxes.

Holidays are more a family discussion. We don’t really plan massively far in advance or budget for holidays, like there is no holiday savings. But last night, for example, we discussed going away at Easter with the dc at dinner and then I looked up some Airbnbs. But it’s not like a whole conversation on its own.

But yes, we do discuss it, but not in a serious sit down and discuss big things conversation. We see a lot of each other though, both self employed, both work from home. So it’s more just casual conversations when the topic comes up.

Yes of course. But not in a business meeting planning type way. But we'll start a conversation on the sofa and go with it.

Current decisions.

• We've put a house move on hold until youngest is in primary.
• Once youngest is in primary the decision needs to be made re. house move or extension.
• No abroad holidays next year.
• Focus on reducing impulsive spending and work on building up the savings/paying down maternity leave debt.
• My commute is proving more expensive that anticipated so we've spoken about me looking for a new job in the new year.
• DH potentially picking up another day at work when youngest goes to school.

It is primarily me leading the conversations because I'm a planner but DH does engage and give opinions.