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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Problems in relationships

9 replies

AJKmummy · 03/12/2025 22:01

i have a partner 46 been together 5 years. I have a 6 month old and 2 toddler boys . I get babygirl to sleep he gets the boys to sleep as they all have similar bed times. My issue is he will fall to sleep which in itself is understandable however my issue with it is he will be really hard to wake up (we eat after bedtime so i have to wake him or I’d just leave him). I will shout shake him everything but he’s in a deep sleep. When he finally wakes a little while later he will say he wasn’t asleep . We end up arguing about it all I want is for him to admit he fell sleep there’s nothing wrong in it but he try’s to make me look stupid by telling me ‘I didn’t hear you I wasn’t sleeping’ after I shouted etc . Am I in the wrong?

OP posts:

UpDownAllAround1 · 03/12/2025 22:34

Wrong about what?

YYYDlilah · 03/12/2025 22:55

You have 3 tiny children, you're both probably knackered. He's probably not aware that he has been asleep. Eat without him.

You're not wrong to be annoyed about it, but it's not worth arguing about it.

SomewhatAnnoyed · 04/12/2025 06:44

This is so easily solved.

Get your phone out. Record him for 5-10 minutes - prop it up so you don’t need to stand there like a lemon - then wake him. If he tells you you’re lying, play him the footage.

He can’t possibly say he was mentally doing his tax returns lying down, immobile with his eyes closed for 10 bloody minutes!

schoolfriend · 04/12/2025 06:52

I’d just leave him.

PersephonePomegranate · 04/12/2025 06:55

He must be pretty knackered to fall asleep with the kids. I've done this myself before.

Why are you preventing him from resting? If a woman posted on here about her partner forcibly waking her up, it'd be labelled abusive.

PersephoneParlormaid · 04/12/2025 06:56

Let him sleep, he can eat later

PersephonePomegranate · 04/12/2025 06:58

And why is him admitting he fell asleep such a big deal to you? I get it's irritating, but is it a relationship problem? You sound like the red flag here.

Bringemout · 04/12/2025 07:46

DH falls asleep sometimes when putting DD to bed, only day I get really annoyed is on our home date night. He can eat later, leave him to sleep and go get your dinner, if you are getting angry trying to wake him up it’s not like you are going to be able to have a nice relaxing dinner anyway.

YellowCherry · 04/12/2025 08:16

Don't wake him. Problem solved.

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