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Unhinged acquaintance

10 replies

Seasea2 · 03/12/2025 17:29

I had an acquaintance who was becoming obsessive and intrusive and told him to leave me alone. I have a partner. This acquaintance has nothing going for him in his life. Luckily he has left me alone since. Today I met a mutual friend and he has been telling her all my personal business over the months as she has told me what was said. I don’t want everyone knowing all my business.

I mentioned to him a while back I was being harassed by this friend’s ex and had to block him as he was an abusive person, for some reason he told her and says do you want to talk about your abusive ex. She is annoyed and I said I wasn’t talking about her and I just said I don’t want to hear off her ex again as he wasn’t a nice person. It makes me look untrustworthy. She also said she doesn’t like this acquaintance as he is always negative and why would she want to talk about her abusive ex. I have told her to tell him to leave her alone.

He is an extremely negative person and is now trying to ruin our friendship. She said she has had enough of his negativity too. We have been friends for 20 years and we have known this mentally unstable acquaintance for 18 months.

OP posts:
ThisLittlePony · 04/12/2025 02:13

How do you know him?

Ahfiddlesticks · 04/12/2025 02:44

If he's just an acquaintance how does he know so much about you?

What are you wanting from this thread? Advice, or just a listening ear?

Seasea2 · 04/12/2025 09:37

ThisLittlePony · 04/12/2025 02:13

How do you know him?

Through a walking group

OP posts:
Seasea2 · 04/12/2025 09:38

Ahfiddlesticks · 04/12/2025 02:44

If he's just an acquaintance how does he know so much about you?

What are you wanting from this thread? Advice, or just a listening ear?

I’m just upset someone would purposely try and ruin our friendship like that.

We would chat to him at the walking group but it has become prevalent he isn’t who we thought he was.

OP posts:
FracasFracas · 04/12/2025 09:43

Respectfully, OP, the lesson here is ‘Don’t blab about your personal business to a casual acquaintance you meet only because you’re both in a walking group.’

There’s a reason we only tell private stuff to a close, trusted friend we know will respect our confidences.

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 04/12/2025 09:52

Gosh it sounds like you dont know him well enough to have told him your personal business.

But whats done is done.
My priority would be to get him out of my life completely so rightly or wrongly i'd change walking groups unless everyone has a problem with him and wantd to boot him out.

I'd also advise friends like the one today he's been very strange and a bit obsessive. You arent interedted in hearing about him unless you think he intends physical harm.

Alicorn1707 · 04/12/2025 09:55

I have to agree with @FracasFracas

This is all on you @Seasea2 you stated;

I had an acquaintance who was becoming obsessive and intrusive

I mentioned to him a while back I was being harassed by this friend’s ex

for some reason he told her

It makes me look untrustworthy

He is an extremely negative person and is now trying to ruin our friendship

we have known this mentally unstable acquaintance for 18 months.

Despite your misgivings about this guy you divulged your friend's personal business. It is not he that is ruining your friendship, you were gossiping, even though you know he is obsessive and intrusive.

Keep your own counsel.

Seasea2 · 04/12/2025 10:13

Alicorn1707 · 04/12/2025 09:55

I have to agree with @FracasFracas

This is all on you @Seasea2 you stated;

I had an acquaintance who was becoming obsessive and intrusive

I mentioned to him a while back I was being harassed by this friend’s ex

for some reason he told her

It makes me look untrustworthy

He is an extremely negative person and is now trying to ruin our friendship

we have known this mentally unstable acquaintance for 18 months.

Despite your misgivings about this guy you divulged your friend's personal business. It is not he that is ruining your friendship, you were gossiping, even though you know he is obsessive and intrusive.

Keep your own counsel.

I know I shouldn’t have said anything but he told
me first he knew her ex wasn’t a nice person. I think my female friend is backtracking as he knew a lot I had not told him.

I should not have been so trusting and won’t discuss anything again as he has told her private stuff about myself and others from the group.

OP posts:
Seasea2 · 04/12/2025 10:20

I am really angry with him for trying to cause trouble and divulge things. Do I call him out on his behaviour or just never speak to him again?

I know he would lie if I confronted him or try and blame others but I don’t like the fact he has got away with it.

OP posts:
surreygirly · 04/12/2025 11:17

Seasea2 · 04/12/2025 10:20

I am really angry with him for trying to cause trouble and divulge things. Do I call him out on his behaviour or just never speak to him again?

I know he would lie if I confronted him or try and blame others but I don’t like the fact he has got away with it.

I would tell him he is too intrusive and say that you will not be talking to him in future

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