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Original poster

Slept with a married man.

44 replies

onlinedatingscrewup · 03/12/2025 16:07

Basically the above. Happened twice. I’ve put a stop to it and no longer see him. Something he said to me was bothersome.

he said he wouldn’t ever be faithful to his wife. That they’re no longer intimate and have a friendly relationship basically for the kids, and that they won’t divorce for their sake. Marriage isn’t open and she isn’t aware of what he’s doing.

would you want to know if your husband was cheating?

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 03/12/2025 22:57

You found his comment bothersome, but you didn’t find your own behaviour the same? So you went back for seconds? People who cheat are liars - it goes with the territory - you can’t believe a bloody word he has told you.

Kidsgotothatschool · 04/12/2025 06:58

So basically, you thought you were special then realised you weren’t.

Now you feel a little peeved that you weren’t the winner between his wife and yourself just another in a list.

Yes I’d tell her. I wouldn’t come on mumsnet to ask. The very little moral compass I had left, would ensure I told her so she can have her personal agency and her right to informed sexual consent given back to her and it’ll give her a chance to exit an abusive marriage, as infidelity is abusive behaviour (if she chooses to).

Then I’d work on myself, because that is low!!!

TootsMaHoots · 04/12/2025 07:17

He’s used you for sex and you fell for it.

BMW6 · 04/12/2025 09:41

You should get a check up for STD before having sex with anyone else, and stop shagging married men.

fedupposter · 04/12/2025 09:57

TwistedWonder · 03/12/2025 21:14

100% this. Vile. grubby disgusting pair of scum bags

Funny how shagging a married man wasn’t an issue for the OP until she realised she’d just a notch on his bedpost and not special,

Show quote history

The nastiness is not necessary

deardeb · 04/12/2025 15:16

Glad the women here are holding you accountable too and not just blaming one person.

JudgeBread · 04/12/2025 15:19

How naïve are you that you believed the cheater's script? "Oh we're not intimate anymore, we're only together for the kids, blah blah blah". Good grief.

Anyway leave it alone. If he's as gross as you say he is she likely knows anyway.

Also get tested. You definitely aren't his only naïve moron side piece

sprigatito · 04/12/2025 15:19

Something he said to you was bothersome?! “I’m married” should have been sufficiently bothersome for you to walk away. I have no sympathy for you.

TwistedWonder · 04/12/2025 19:03

fedupposter · 04/12/2025 09:57

The nastiness is not necessary

Show quote history

Yes cheating on your wife and knowing shagging a married man is unnecessarily nasty

BeNoisyFish · 04/12/2025 20:13

I personally would want to know..would it be safe for you to tell her? Some people are dangerous.

gamerchick · 04/12/2025 20:15

You lost the high ground when you went back for more. You'll get the blame when he lies and say you're bitter he didn't want you anymore.

Just stay away from them

Chairwoman4 · 04/12/2025 22:13

You dumped him for something he said and not the fact he was married?

jesus wept man

MrsSkylerWhite · 05/12/2025 11:19

BeNoisyFish · 04/12/2025 20:13

I personally would want to know..would it be safe for you to tell her? Some people are dangerous.

People who sleep with someone else’s husband?

BeenThereAlready · 05/12/2025 11:40

Do you have any idea the hurt of being cheated on by your husband? Shame on you.

Franklyannoyed · 05/12/2025 11:42

BeenThereAlready · 05/12/2025 11:40

Do you have any idea the hurt of being cheated on by your husband? Shame on you.

As much as I agree, no one makes a husband cheat, if he cheats that’s on him and if you need to ensure all women say no, otherwise he will cheat, then your marriage was never going ro work. As said I agree, the op isn’t covering herself in glory, and was foolish and selfish, but the cheating was his choice.

phantomofthepopera · 05/12/2025 11:49

My exH told his OW that we didn’t have sex. All the while I was having sex with him every day (he was v highly sexed) and smugly telling myself that he’d never be unfaithful because I made sure all his sexual needs were taken care of.

His affair had been going on for four years when I discovered it.

LostittoBostik · 05/12/2025 11:56

I don’t actually think that you’re responsible for any misdemeanour in the way people on here always assume. If you’re single you’ve made no promises to anyone, do what you like. Marriage is between the two people in it.

BUT given that, you simply cannot then claim afterward that you’re concerned about the wife or that she “deserves to know”.

He’s a twat. You may have been naive. Either way, move on and leave well alone.

BeenThereAlready · 05/12/2025 11:57

phantomofthepopera · 05/12/2025 11:49

My exH told his OW that we didn’t have sex. All the while I was having sex with him every day (he was v highly sexed) and smugly telling myself that he’d never be unfaithful because I made sure all his sexual needs were taken care of.

His affair had been going on for four years when I discovered it.

I am so sorry. I also thought I did enough and he never would cross that line. But he did. There is nothing a woman can do to prevent it. It is a choice they make.

TwistedWonder · 05/12/2025 12:16

LostittoBostik · 05/12/2025 11:56

I don’t actually think that you’re responsible for any misdemeanour in the way people on here always assume. If you’re single you’ve made no promises to anyone, do what you like. Marriage is between the two people in it.

BUT given that, you simply cannot then claim afterward that you’re concerned about the wife or that she “deserves to know”.

He’s a twat. You may have been naive. Either way, move on and leave well alone.

Yes she had done wrong. Knowingly sleeping with a married man is vile grubby disgusting behaviour, It’s not bring naive , it’s knowing it’s wrong and not giving a shit because her vagina getting wet is all that she’s bothered about.

Of course the married man is responsible for being a lying cheating scummy piece of shit but let’s not pretend that a willing affair partner is some innocent little flower who has done nothing
wrong.

Being duped by a lying chest is one thing, knowingly shagging a married man makes both partners as bad as each other.

Cheating is abuse and the OP was a willing participant

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