parents dont get on and i have my sons holy comunnion ?

[Hellobell]

hi,

so my parents are separated and don't speak, they are both fiery people and haven't had to see each other in a few years since dad lives abroad, next yr we have our sons holy communion and my dad has booked a holiday for 2 weeks to visit us, and it collided with his holy communion and now I'm so worried as just there presence is going to give a negative vibe.

My mum is religious and my dad is not. My mum was really looking forward to this occasion, and I have not yet told her he is coming.

I don't want to tell my dad that he can not attend as i would feel awful, he is coming on his own to visit us, but how do I go about doing this ?

Thanks

I had a similar situation. I told them they were both invited , they behaved impeccably.

was there any awkwardness ? this is the first family thing that I've been though, we were thinking of going for pizza after and letting the kids play at this lovely restruant.

My older brother has told me that maybe we should just have our mother there since shes the religious one and shes been looking forward to it, my dad hasnt a clue about it yet, but i still feel quite bad doing that.

Do you have a friend or family member you can invite or delegate to be with your dad that day at the event? I'm presuming your mum has more support/ relationships locally. Just make sure you're not under two much pressure on the day, let them know what events the other will be at and ask them to keep the peace. If any uncles or aunties are attending they'll probably fall easily into different groups. Good luck

I would tell your Dad it coincides and if he wishes to attend he needs to be on best behaviour. He may not want to go!

Your Mum will also need to be on her best behaviour

If your child wants them both there then invite both as it is the childs day not yours or your parents. If they cannot behave themselves for one day for their grandchild then they do not deserve to ever be invited to anything going forward. I have had this shite with my own parents and believe me they have been told behave or fuck off. Do not let your parents have any control over your childrens big days.

Can you maybe move the communion date? For just before or just after dad's visit?
(Sorry if it's a silly question as I have no idea how these dates are set and if they are movable...)

I dont know where in the world the op is and if it differs but I am in Ireland and communion and confirmation dates are set by the schools so even if she could move the date why should she have to? Her parents need to be grown up and behave themselves or not turn up if they cannot do that. Pussyfooting around them will not help anything going forward.

Where I'm from the First Communion ceremony in the church is numbers restricted. It is parents, siblings and grandparents only. I know that would include your father, but maybe explain that numbers are restricted and he can join in at the pizza place. With mother at one end and father at the other!

Generally speaking though, if they have any respect for you and your child, they will behave themselves and I would make sure they know that this is what you expect from them, and if they don't you will not be around either of them again.

A little at first but I told them both they had to behave as this was about their grandchildren not them And I'd there was any silliness they wouldn't be invited to future events it was all very amicable TBF. They largely avoided each other but when that didn't happen they were pleasant

Keep quiet about the date, if your Father finds out include him. Make arrangements so that all your other family members are seated between them and hopefully they will not be able to interact. Same goes for the pizza restaurant afterwards. Tell them both separately their interactions with each other must be cordial at all times and that any controversial comments will lead to them being asked to leave immediately and quietly. Hopefully they will both behave as adults and do what you want.

Good luck..

Surely you just tell them both to behave on the day.