Dating etiquette - unsure if I'm overthinking?

[Labradoodlelife]

I have been seeing a guy for 4 weeks, we have had 4 really good dates each weekend, the last 2 of these we have basically spent nearly 24 hours together. Things are great when we are together and feel like I can be completely myself which I feel is rare when you have just met. He's mentioned that he told his sister and mum that he was seeing me..

The thing is for the last 2 weeks, the text communication has dwindled between dates and there could be a day or two where I don't hear from him. Starting to feel that I text a lot more than he does me. We also haven't made any concrete plans to see each other again but I think he is more likely to see what my weekend plans are on a Thursday or Friday... Would you start to get the impression he's not interested and not count on things developing? Or am I just overthinking it? 😂

I'd say for four weeks in this is quite intense. I'd say your interest and communication wants are higher than average, and his are more standard.

It’s hard to say as everyone has different levels of communication. But if you’re noticing a change then yes it’s possible he’s not sure. If you make it past a 1st date, 3-4 dates in is often (in my experience) when people decide if it’s for them or not, you’ve had a chance to get to know them a lot better beyond the initial date and to work out if there’s potential or not.

Perhaps, after 4 weeks, and, it seems spending 2 lots of 24 hours together, he has moved beyond that nervous stage at the beginning and feels you are now falling into 'couple' type relationship, so has relaxed into a more normal level of messaging ? Sort of assuming, as you are getting on well and have spent the last 4 weekends together, then you will both be seeing each other the coming weekend so don't need to plan the details in advance as you might if you aren't sure you are going to be seeing someone.

Are you saying you have not seen each other for 2 weeks?

And you have given him the impression that he could just decide to ask to meet up at the weekend with a couple of days notice - I.e. when he feels like it? And you would agree at such short notice - you would not have made alternative prior arrangements already?

I would suggest that you do not let men mess you around like this.

So he reduced contact and started a slow fade after 2 weeks but told his family about you? That’s mixed messages so I’d have concerns. Sounds like he’s wanting to see you last minute and you prefer to plan. That also doesn’t feel compatible.
He could be busy and you’re overthinking or he could be losing interest. You’ll need to ask him to find out, or wait until you’re properly ghosted.
If he wanted to see you he would.

So I have seen him every weekend and he still seems keen to see me.. it's more like sun-wed he seems less proactive texting than he was but by the time we get to Thursday he's making plans and texting normally again . I guess it could be anything and just need to see what happens

Sounds like it is going ok. Maybe share some music you like with him and see if gets a reply? Create conversations before the weekend

If a man waited until Friday to see what my weekend plans were then they would not be including him. Why are you waiting around for this low effort man?

Also no no no to marathons dates this early on. Where did he take you on these dates.?

Bit of an update as still feeling confused! After I posted this he then text me consistently every day for a few days, making effort and arranged next date. Seen him the start of last week and then pencilled in next date for Saturday just gone. He text me the following day after seeing him last, being enthusiastic again and confirming the next date plans. Come Saturday he cancelled on me a few hours before and haven't heard from him since. Feel utterly confused especially as he seems so keen when I do see him and straight after.. starting to get the "he's just not that into you" vibes?

You are a free shag for him unfortunately and that’s all you are - if you weren’t having sex with him he’d make either more effort or by week 4 would have moved onto someone else who would have sec with him

Yeah this is what I'm starting to think too!

He's mentioned that he told his sister and mum that he was seeing me..

I call bullshit.

Sorry OP. Move on from this one. He sounds flaky.

Where is the confusion ?

it’s as clear as day that he is merely toying with you.

I think that from 2 weeks in, basically spending the whole weekend together, every weekend is a bit intense. He might be starting to realise that, although if that's the case he should be honest about it. What was his excuse for cancelling - does it seem reasonable and genuine?

Yes fair, he'd said he hadn't been able to sleep and was feeling awful so could we reschedule and then no contact since so I am thinking he's making clear he's not interested!