What's the etiquette here?

[Bloodyuber]

I had a situationship/FWB+ with a man for 4 years. Saw each other weekly, despite living a 2 hour drive apart. Messaged excessively daily. We met each others family & friends. We went away. We did some life admin stuff together. We didn't call it a relationship, as he didn't want one. The reality was it was a non exclusive relationship.

We ended the sex as he broke the 2 basic ground rules we'd put in place about seeing other people, and lied about it when I directly asked him about my suspicions. We tried to just be friends for a few months after, but that didn't work.

We've been no contact since March 25.

One of his closest friends became my insurance broker during our time together. She is excellent at what she does. I never met her in person. He told me she'd worked out I was his FWB. Our phone calls mentioned him once, on my initiation. I know he'll have told her we're over and spun the details in his favour as to why.

My insurance is up for renewal. I want to stick with her. But because of the end of the relationship, I'm not sure I should, or can.

I've not been in this situation before, as he was my first relationship after a very long marriage. What is the etiquette around this type of situation please? Do I retain her services or should I find I new broker?

if she good at what she does who cares

I’d keep with her, I can’t see how it would make a difference.

out of interest, what were the two ground rules?

Your relationship with her is a professional one. If you're happy she's doing a good job, carry on. No need to mention the ex.

I was dropped by a friend. I still engaged her father-in-law to do work for me, I never mentioned her.

Unless your insurance needs are very complex, I wouldn't be sure you need a broker nowadays- we had one years ago, but with comparison websites, you may well be able to source your own insurance at a competitive price?

there is no etiquette.

There is no solid reason to stop using the services of someone who knows someone you used to have a relationship with. Lord, we’d all be dumping service providers left right and Centre if we did this.

However, if you personally have feelings of shame or embarrassment or upset around the relationship, and knowing she knows him is bringing these up for you, you may feel more comfortable letting her go.

It’s probably better to learn how to manage thise feelings without changing your life for them, but that’s a choice for you to make.

If you want to stick with her then do so. But all you're doing is renewing your policy. She won't really haven't do anything

If you want to stick with her then I think it's absolutely fine to do so. She's a professional and you're a client. You've never even met her in person.

If she doesn't want to act for you for any reason, then she's free to refuse to do so. But I would be amazed if she had any problem with it.

Thanks all.

Email sent to kick off her searches.