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Original poster

Dating again after some time - how to relax.

10 replies

feathermucker · 02/12/2025 09:03

Just started dating again after a few years. Have met someone and things are going well. Been on several dates and have slept together after a few. Very nice and very respectful towards me. Great communication.

I'm a little bit anxious by nature and don’t seem to be able to relax and enjoy it. I keep thinking I’m going to do something wrong and almost have anticipatory anxiety.

Have discussed this a little with him and he’s been very understanding with it.

Any tips on how to just let myself relax would be very much appreciated.

Thank you

OP posts:
Original poster
feathermucker · 02/12/2025 11:52

Anyone, grateful for advice!

OP posts:
LittleJustice · 02/12/2025 12:11

I was a bit like this when I first started dating again because I just wasn't used to it. There's a woman who does reels on Facebook who I thought was pretty useful telling you just to calm it all down.

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/17kp4zyB2M/

Basically you have to learn to live with the discomfort. This person has been part of your life for such a tiny amount of time that you can't make him your be all and all.

I think she says at one point why are you making him into your book when you're probably only a chapter in his life at this stage or maybe only a page. I thought that was a great way to look at it.

Even if this doesn't work out, you'll be fine, so stop obsessing about it. I know it's tough. But focus on other things. Go for a walk, watch TV, listen to music, text all your friends etc

Original poster
feathermucker · 02/12/2025 12:18

LittleJustice · 02/12/2025 12:11

I was a bit like this when I first started dating again because I just wasn't used to it. There's a woman who does reels on Facebook who I thought was pretty useful telling you just to calm it all down.

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/17kp4zyB2M/

Basically you have to learn to live with the discomfort. This person has been part of your life for such a tiny amount of time that you can't make him your be all and all.

I think she says at one point why are you making him into your book when you're probably only a chapter in his life at this stage or maybe only a page. I thought that was a great way to look at it.

Even if this doesn't work out, you'll be fine, so stop obsessing about it. I know it's tough. But focus on other things. Go for a walk, watch TV, listen to music, text all your friends etc

That’s good advice and I’ll have a look at the link, thank you.

I think it’s just that I’m not used to it, any of it. It’s been a while. Feels like a mental block thing but there’s no pressure involved and I know if I could relax more, ill
enjoy all the loveliness about it

Thnaks for taking the time to reply

OP posts:
Mysticguru · 02/12/2025 12:24

It's early days. As you see each other more you'll relax naturally. Just be authentic. Don't try and put on an act that you think he wants.

LittleJustice · 02/12/2025 12:29

Yes absolutely the more he shows up for you and reassures you the more your nervous system will calm down. You will start to enjoy it and it's so nice having someone stable and reliable in your life.

Original poster
feathermucker · 02/12/2025 12:30

Thank you for the replies

OP posts:
UpDownAllAround1 · 02/12/2025 13:01

Alcohol

Original poster
feathermucker · 02/12/2025 16:04

UpDownAllAround1 · 02/12/2025 13:01

Alcohol

😋

OP posts:
Original poster
feathermucker · 02/12/2025 17:36

Thank you

OP posts:
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