Sibling Fallout
Bit of a long one, myself and my older brother have had a huge falling out, we didn’t really get to well as kids, he was always trying to wind me up get a reaction from me, which he did at time. We both played sports, I went everywhere with my parents for years to watch him, it was never reciprocated from him. late teens he started making a bit more of an effort with me, but had his own friends as I did, with no real issues between us. As adults he got married first, his wife was not very nice to me and my parents, and brother at times from what I’ve heard. She is also a little dismissive of us, as was her parents also towards us, I used to visit them both quite often to see my nephew and them, but got nothing back from them, 3 visits at my home in a decade whilst I lived on my own. eventually I got married and moved into our new home, brother visited to take a look, his wife wouldn’t come in, the did and was very dismissive and bragging about her brothers house. At this point my parents are elderly (both in 80’s) and I’m doing lots to help them, booking holidays for them, insurance, bills etc, brother didn’t do much at all. Me and my wife had them every Xmas day to spoil them, cook for them etc. My brother and his wife never had them once, as they said they are in an arrangement with his brother in law swapping every year which homes Xmas day is at. my brother one year said, if we want a break, leave them on their own, which I found a bit of a shocking thing to say, plus other excuse didn’t have enough chairs, etc. him and his wife also visited me to ask what my opinion of them both going into accommodation for elderly people which I didn’t agree with, but they said I’ll leave it to you to tell them.
Roll forward a few years my Auntie who I was very close to and helping, she lived abroad, decides to leave me and my brother as beneficiaries in her will, she told me exactly what to do with the money. I deal with everything, POE, Banks, lawyers etc, the whole lot. we both get an even split, which is correct, no issues. A year later my mother passes away, I was helping my dad trying to get her to see doctors, my wife with food etc, my brother and his wife, nothing much really. A few years later, my dad has a serious medical issue and was in hospital, by this time myself and my wife was paying private health care for him, my brother didn’t know about this. I also have some other half siblings that we are distant with, my brother will not speak to them, and told me if something happens to dad you will have to deal with them, and if they need to be contacted over his medical issue you will have to deal with them. At this point I’m starting to get annoyed with him, cut a long story short we fell out over him not dealing with them, he got aggressive for being in the hospital 2 hours longer then me, we parted on bad terms. 2 days later I get a phone call apologizing for putting things on me, then started verbally abusing me over my Auntie, saying I went after her money etc and he wants nothing to do with me anymore, but if he sees me he will be polite, tells me what he’s always thought of me, accused me of taking money off my parents, which he is totally wrong, I told him go ask them then. I then told him exactly what I thought of him and how he’s done nothing but now he will be when dad needs help, and don’t contact me over it, do it yourself.
Since then he’s asked my dad about the money, got told he’s incorrect, he then said his wife thinks the same as him about me being money mad, and made out the argument started over the private health care, said he was annoyed that I didn’t show his son enough support playing sports, i showed him the same as he showed my son, no mention of him not making a call to siblings he doesn’t like. Since then we have had no contact for 12 months, and when my dad asks him about the fallout who won’t even talk about it. I can’t get my had around how you can behave like this and not try to make it right, but his wife calls the shots from what I know, and she’s never been very friendly with us, so we are not sure if she's influencing him.