Hello, I am looking for advice and some wisdom here. I have been in a relationship with my partner for 5+ yrs, no kids. He is from a South Asian background, I’m from Europe. Things went downhill in the past years with issues including cultural and class differences, his family causing arguments between us and him not being smart with his finances. I don’t want to write a novel here and will try to summarise it.
He is not coming from a typical South Asian family and he was not encouraged to do well in school. He does have a degree but he is quite late in his career - he only recently started to put effort in and climb the ladder (age 38). On top of that, he made some bad financial decisions and this impacts our life. At the moment, I earn more and can cover emergencies or pay more if necessary but obviously it’s not ideal.
His family always relied on him (he was the errand boy) and this only recently changed when we bought a house in the country and we are too far out for him to be called. He is now being punished for this, not invited for events or being told last minute etc. I don’t want to go on about the unhealthy dynamics but there’s plenty. He is not encouraged by them to do better, earn more or live a better quality life - this has been all me.
I have been thinking a lot about going separate ways recently because they make my life hell via him. He is upset weekly because they said or did something. He is rude, shouty, shows very little affection when this happens.
I feel like our class differences have resurfaced as well and we often argue about things like basic etiquette, speech or hobbies. He is a likeable person and has a good sense of humour but I noticed how self conscious he can be around middle classes, both acquaintances and at work. I feel like this is holding him back in his career and making new friends.
I have been on the edge for probably a year now and unable to make a decision whether to stay together or not. Any advice would be appreciated.