Did you find love again after having kids?

[ssscarletttix]

Asking as a heterosexual woman. 28 and have 2 kids under the age of 5

Would that put you off? I would always be upfront on the dating scene which I think I'm ready to step into again i wouldnt hide it and drop it on someone.

But said you met someone in a bar get chatting you're interested/attracted and she says she has 2 kids (and due to ex's working arrangements they are with her 90% of the time)

I obviously know the right man wouldnt mind of course I just am curious. But if the majority would I'm happy to stay single. My kids are my world but it would be nice to be in a nice loving relationship

Thread title edited by MNHQ on OP's request

I’m not sure mumsnet is your target market for this question! Not many single men in their 20s and 30s on here

Yeah i have seen some posts from men! And was looking maybe not just single men but even if people shared stories like a man who got with a woman with kids or women sharing their stories how they had 2 (or more ) kids and found love again

I put a misleading title tbh! But it was aimed overall I'll see if I can change it lol

If it puts man off, then he isn’t the right one for you. It’s not like you can change your situation is it and give your kids away, so embrace it and you’ll meet the right person who will accept your situation.

What age man are you looking for?

I would say that as people age, they expect to meet people who have collected some circumstances along the way. There will be men who don't want to involve themselves in a ready made family, but there will also be those who do. Some may want to be fathers themselves, and some who won't, but also won't mind that you are a mum.

When I was younger, I dated a single mum, although we met through mutual friends. It didn't work out, but not because of her being a single mum.

That probably doesn't answer your question, so the sort answer is that you may limit your pool, but only by removing those who aren't right for you anyway.

Im not too sure definitely someone my age or older!

But I am fully on board with if it put someone off then they aren't for me. If it put everyone off id happily stay single lol. My kids are my world and priority

I've only ever been with one person. Met my ex when I was 18 so my relationship experience isnt much I dont know what to expect really

Yes, it would have put me off when I was in my 20s or early 30s. That would have been because I wasn’t mature enough or ready to step into a step father role.

But, I do have male friends who would be fine to do so at that age and have.

I also have female friends who have been in a similar situation as you, they kissed a few frogs but in the end found a new Mr Right and are very happy.

How would you feel if you were Child free and met someone with two DC? Or a man with 2DC with you in your current situation? Four DC, or more is a lot and blended families are a minefield.
It would be disingenuous to not think it would be an issue for a lot of people.

Hi OP I met my current partner at 31 with two young kids. He doesn’t have any kids. What I found is it didn’t put people off me dating but I found some guys automatically put me into the not serious bracket and wanted to date me for fun. So I had a few first dates and then met my partner now and honestly if it’s a problem or a doubt for someone they aren’t worth a second date.

kids are most likely to be abused by a step parent more than anyone else. That statistic scared me into not wanting to meet anyone else so any sign of resentment towards you having kids is non negotiable. The guy that’s positive and full of life and optimism, will be the type of guy. In my experience anyway.

good luck OP!

Would you date a single dad with two kids who had them 90% of the time?