Not over a relationship

[Gemlarr]

Anyone else feel the same way? I was in a relationship with someone and deep down I know it was best to end it as we didn’t want the same things but two years later I’m still not completely over it. I’m not in contact with them but still it hurts to think about them

Two years is too long to still be ruminating. You need to develop better distraction strategies and allow yourself to move on. Did you have children with this person?

Two years does seem like a long time to be grieving it… what is it that still hurts?

I think it’s normal to feel that way the first six months to a year, but two years sounds like you do need to resolve something you’re stuck on.

Although everyone is different I suppose, I know someone who hasn’t got over an ex they only dated briefly 7 years ago 🤷‍♀️

Ok so is there some specific...how to word this...

I was funnily enough just shuffling my tarot cards absent mindedly whilst reading this and the thought that came to mind was when you accidently get something caught on something. Like when you get your headphones wires caught on a door handle and it yanks you back.

Like there's still a spike in there, or something caught in a hook that you need to manually release. If you yank it absent mindedly ... Haha...ha...umm not the best word choice lol... But what I'm saying is, there's something you maybe need to mindfully engage with in order to release.

Sometimes we like a person for the validation them liking us would give us. So when we walk away from something...especially something that was difficult, it feels like we never got that validation. Even though we were right to leave, to choose ourselves, we have no audience to tell us 'well done, you were right'.

Well - well done, you were right. It might also help to tell yourself this in a mirror out loud. Maybe alongside sonething like 'I release the past so that I can embrace the future'. Or something similarly (cheesy xD) empowering.

People I think...are often just in our lives to encourage growth. But it's up to us to embrace that growth. Pull out that final spike. You have outgrown it.

Two years is far too long to be still thinking about an ex. Im just a little over 2 years away from mine and I feel sick that I let him anywhere near me now.

I feel this, too. It's been three and a half years for me. My ex-husband was abusive but the grief never ever truly goes away.

You'll get there. Maybe counselling could help?