I hate my marriage

[Followthestarsxoxo]

Me and my husband have been on the rocks all year after his mom tired to split us up earlier in the year, but of course him being him he didn’t see no wrong at all. Since that happened he has these moment where he’s so vile, we have been together almost 11 years about 2 months ago now he hit me with a mop and bruised me, somehow I forgave him.

Anyway we went out for friends birthday recently and we had been with the group of men all night as my friend new them and we was all speaking, I stood by my husbands side the whole night, my friend needed her dress fixing at the back so I gave my husband my drink to hold and I asked one of them men to hold my friends drink, 30 seconds later she took her drink off and we carried on with our night, I thought everything was ok until my husband came up to me telling me that I’m a knobhead and that man was looking at me like a knobhead for asking him to hold my friends drink for a quick second, he’s told me that I’m too friendly with people and I shouldn’t be trying to make conversations with other men because they just think it’s for sex. I literally asked him to hold her drink that’s all.

I don’t know why he’s turned into a horrible man, I’m financially dependent on him, we have 2 small children, I’m scared to take my boys away from their dad and start on my own with nothing and take away everything my children have.

Your boys will be far more affected going forward seeing their dad hit you and or otherwise verbally abuse you. They cannot grow up thinking their dad’s treatment of you is how men treat women in relationships. Your children’s home is not the sanctuary it should be for either they or you.

Teach your dc that the only acceptable level of abuse in a relationship is none.

Your marriage now is over because he is abusive towards you and in turn them. He is no decent example of a father to his children.

He does this because he can. It’s not your fault he is abusive and he’s angry because he is abusive and not because he is angry. Do not enter into any joint counselling with him nor go to mediation with him.

How can you be helped into leaving your abuser?.

If you are in the UK I would contact Womens Aid and a local firm of solicitors seeking legal advice on all aspects of divorce including financial. You are married to this man and have rights in law. You do not have to act on that straight away but I would do so and knowledge here is power. You have a choice re this man, your children do not.

@How supportive are your parents here?. Do you have a network of friends and family members you could tell and otherwise rely on?. Abuse like this thrives on secrecy so you have taken a big step in writing about this on here so that is to be commended.

Oh op you do realise this is abuse,

You forgive him over the mop ' why' and this situation out with friends is another form of abuse, and control, for much do you allow or put up with this op, why is this OK for your children? It's not op, you forgive the mop situation so he can continue with his abuse and control,

You say leaving with nothing op well leaving with nothing is better then living with abuse, walking on eggshells, picking your words, doubting yourself,

Nothing is being safe, being free, being yourself op,

Please get some advice ' womans aid' talk to a friend, this isn't healthy op,

I know it’s abuse, I’m so scared to admit it because prior to this year hes always been a good man, it’s so hard to except