A bit of a long one, but I’m stuck and need some advice. I’ve been with my OH since I was 18, we started dating in Uni and got married 23 years ago. I’ve realised over the last couple of years that he is most probably a narcissist! He doesn’t like my parents or the way they talk to him, hates my sister. We both earn fairly well, with him earning a lot more than me. My salary goes into a joint account and I can’t spend on anything without getting his approval. Only in the last couple of years I’ve managed to get him to agree to give me £300 a month for me to spend on myself for things like hair dressers, cosmetics, clothes, shoes etc. He is always trying to make me feel guilty and wanting me to spend that money on buying gifts for him and the children. To the extent that when my parents come and visit, they give me some cash in secret so I have access to funds. The credit card is my name and he goes through transactions on a fortnightly basis to see if I’m trying to sneak in my own shopping on it. If I have issue at work and want to talk them through, his only response is that it must be my shortcoming which is causing an issue. I’m constantly being criticised about my cooking skills, household skills and childcare skills. I’m at my wits end and can’t take it anymore. Every time I try to have a conversation about how I feel, he gets aggressive and starts shouting. We have two boys, the oldest has his A-levels in May and the younger one is in Yr9. I’ve tried talking to DS1 about having to move as I’m struggling to stay in this relationship and he refuses to listen to me. What should I do? Don’t have any friends who can advice me. There’s a lot more I can say about OH’s behaviour, could write a book. I’m scared OH will resort to shouting and screaming if I talk about separating.