Hi, so today I was clearing out the home where my children myself and ex partner used to all live.
It’s long so will try not to drip feed. We separated in 2023 my ex was abusive and had an affair and left after Christmas. What followed was a year of him breadcrumbing the children and myself until he was sure the life he was building was what he wanted basically. Was a trickle of information regarding his affair and finances etc that would cause stress and upset every few months until I thought it was all over and done with.
I started seeing someone a year after it wasn’t intentional at first, he’s lovely guy and that’s where things got worse with my ex. He tried to enforce rules on how I could live my life and then started to harass me to the point he was arrested and now on bail.
He would stop paying maintenance and gave us a two month eviction notice. I’m now in social housing my ex partner is very well off, owns many properties etc he would use money as a way to control people in life I feel and anyway it got bad enough that one day after work earlier this year he tried to repeatedly stop me from walking home by driving his car across the pavement to the point I ran in a strangers garden for help.
since then both himself and his mother make co parenting a living hell I wish I didn’t call the police but I was already on the phone to a domestic abuse line as it had escalated so that day that I knew something was going to happen. It all snow balled and I couldn’t stop it. I work 6 days a week to support the children Im burnt out but feel very grateful we have a home and I’ve spent the last few months making it nice for them.
Today I was clearing out the old property and saw photos and I don’t know why but I’m just beside myself this evening. I feel devastated that it feels like it will never be okay for our children. It’s so fractious and I just want to know it will all be okay. I’ve not told my children what happened I’ve kept as much as I can away from them. My ex takes them abroad every holiday and buys then gifts beyond gifts whilst I work more and more to just keep my head above the water.
Still after everything they don’t wish to spend more time with their Dad which seems to be this circle of him gifting and what people call on here Disney dad. I’m just exshauted by it all. I have a solistor with legal aid. An due to my ex drawing up agreements for me to have half of the property we were in and that we never had to move out etc she’s advised me to go after that.
Deep down I just don’t see why it would be around 100k it would take us out of poverty but I just think it will cause a life time of bitterness from him that will no doubt trickle down to our children.
I don’t have many people I can talk to about this and hoping to hear similar outcomes or experiences. What would you do?
Sorry writing is not a strong point for me and hope that builds a big enough picture of the situation.