Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why?

3 replies

Honeymoon375 · 29/11/2025 23:54

OH and I have had some long standing issues within our relationship. We didn’t choose to break it off as we’ve put 16 years into this together. Importantly, we’ve both been faithful to one another. We didn’t want to throw it away!

We have some boundaries and expectations of each other which we BOTH seeked advice for and made sure we both thought they were realistic and achievable. They were going ok for a while …

Then for some reason OH just doesn’t pull his weight and put the effort in anymore. When I pull him up on it, all I get is very weak excuses (usually domestic excuses) and they aren’t really even worth debating. For example : Me “please don’t speak to me like that” HIM “ sorry but you don’t work the same hours I do so you don’t get as stressed” … to some people this might seem funny or a minor problem but when your facing it week in week out it starts to make your feel like a burden. And remember, that’s just ONE of the broken commitments.

OP posts:
PersephoneParlormaid · 30/11/2025 08:16

Resentment, it’s a killer. If you’re hoping he’ll change, he won’t.

Honeymoon375 · 30/11/2025 08:46

Morning. Yeah it’s a shame as I’m really losing respect in the meantime for him. Another example of this would be when I distance myself (perhaps stay in another room for longer than usual, stick a film on my own etc) I’ll get the “pfff, well what are you doing all morning, f”all” - and it’s like .. well
yeah, because you’ve made me unhappy and won’t take accountability for it.

OP posts:
ClawsandEffect · 30/11/2025 08:54

Can you not just tell him 'Either we both work at our relationship, or it doesn't work at all.'?

I appreciate maybe he is tired and can't be arsed. But if you both agreed the boundaries and expectations and now he isn't following them, he has to understand the cause and effect of this. That's assuming he genuinely agreed to them. Instead of just saying it.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread