It's great to hear that he is so heavily invested emotionally in the children, at least that's something. Because if he weren't interested in the kids, and he wasn't interested in you, and all he was interested in was his work, then it seems like a pretty simple solution. The ever so easy to say but not so easy to do, "divorce him".
You've tried communicating with him how you feel, he said it's nonsense and walks away. So I'm thinking that he wouldn't be very open to any type of counseling. That you try to speak to him and he shuts you down, more than likely in his mind if he walks away from the problem, then it doesn't exist. If you talk about it, that makes it more real. It's probably easier for him to deny there's a problem and put his blinders on, then when finally you've had enough and something happens like a big fight or you decide that it is time to leave him, consciously or unconsciously he will claim that he never saw this coming and it's completely blindsided him.
Communication is key. And if he walks away and won't talk to you, how are you supposed to communicate?
I suppose you could try writing this stuff down, maybe he finds it difficult to speak to you in a one-on-one conversation. Maybe it's difficult for him to look in your eyes and see the pain or hear the pain in your voice, if you do write anything, be careful with what you write, no matter what form you write it, because then there was always written proof of what was said... And you don't want something that was written as part of an exercise to communicate with him during a time when you're feeling hurt, to be used as ammunition in a divorce settlement, later.