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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Family Relationships

4 replies

ImperialGoddess · 29/11/2025 15:43

I have come here to vent and to look for advice.

My brother in law, Lyle and his wife Nikki live 30 minutes from us.. we live in Texas. They have 2 beautiful baby boys, a 2 year old and a newborn. They are both well educated, she is a Nurse and he is trained in Data Links by the military. They both have anxiety, so mom works as a traveling nurse (which doesn't pay much) and dad chose to be a SAHD because he can't bring himself to work. They currently live in a very nice apartment that is being financially supported by Lyle/My husband's parents They have moved 3 different times in 3 years to live with different family members and now live in this apartment. Now we are told that Nikki HATES Texas due to politics and now they are moving to Idaho(which is another Red State, and is worst than Texas when it comes to politics. I know, we lived there for a bit for my husband's job) to go live with her mother (who is super toxic and controlling, which is why Nikki moved away from her in the first place.) I have a toxic mother too and I would never place my kid in that situation. My heart just aches for those babies.

this is also a 36 hour drive. They don't want to get a hotel and are planning to sleep in the car with their two babies.

I am so pissed off and angry because I love those two kids and Lyle and Nikki are just being selfish! Apparently my in-laws arent surprised because Lyle has done this multiple times before but now they have babies and are dragging them with them. and also they already practically admitted that they know its not going to work.
I have thought about telling them they could stay with us on the account that they both go to work and I will watch the boys, but I do have my own son who is autistic and he is a very happy kid, has his own appointments ect. and we work hard to keep him sound and I don't want to mess that up. Also we cannot financially support them. I don't think they will take it because according to my husband they are looking for the "easy way out" by being financially supported by yet another family member and won't be attracted to the idea that we will hold them accountable and make them get their crap together.

can anyone give advice?? I'm just really mad. they are being idiots.

OP posts:
Boomer55 · 29/11/2025 16:30

I’d stay out of it.

Pottersciderbar82 · 29/11/2025 16:33

Agree, stay out of it.

They are going to continue to do what they do.

Unless you have any safeguarding concerns for the children, not sure what you do to report in the states though.

Abracadabrador · 29/11/2025 16:42

Why are they selfish idiots for choosing to move house?
Don't house them. Just go about your life and don't stress over your husbands relatives.
If those are their actual names you might want to get the post edited to remove them.

ImperialGoddess · 29/11/2025 18:13

Abracadabrador · 29/11/2025 16:42

Why are they selfish idiots for choosing to move house?
Don't house them. Just go about your life and don't stress over your husbands relatives.
If those are their actual names you might want to get the post edited to remove them.

Those aren't their real names. Just letting you know.

OP posts:
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