Horrific case - When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time (TW: upsetting details in article)

[RedRoseCountyGirl]

Some Mumsnetters might have read about this brave woman who was catastrophically injured by her partner earlier this year.

The perpetrator was found guilty of GBH with intent last Monday and faces sentencing next February.

Trudi is recovering but will be paralysed for the rest of her life.

She is the bravest person I know, she is still smiling, she is still beautiful…she is still my cousin

(I received her permission to put this article on Mumsnet as she wants her story to be heard. In her own words: “I’m speaking out and planning to write a book about my experience because I know there are thousands of women up and down the country in similar abusive relationships. If I can help just one of them to leave, then it's worth it”)

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-15336355/Left-paralysed-attack-abuse-trudi-burgess.html#

Thank you for highlighting this Op, and sharing Trudi’s story. I’m glad to read about her progress, and I hope she continues to do really well. I’ll be thinking of her.

Surely it's different though - in one case it's the perpetrator whose character is presented and in the other it's the victim's.

I suspect there's a lot of blurring of lines between perpetrator and victim in the minds of many when it comes to rape. We hear so much of the damage a rape allegation does to the accused man, as if vindictive/ bitter/ scorned / crazy women are using an accusation of rape as a weapon against innocent men they've trapped.

Such an awful case. Can I ask - I read that this man had been married several times before, was anything known about his behaviour in those marriages or why it ended? Sending sympathy to your lovely cousin who was incredibly talented and absolutely didn't deserve to meet a man like this :(

Surely it's different though - in one case it's the perpetrator whose character is presented and in the other it's the victim's.

Yes, but the law has to be fair to everyone - even those accused of the worst possible crimes. It would be unfair to allow an alleged victim to present relevant evidence of an alleged perpetrator's bad character, while denying that same opportunity to the alleged perpetrator.

Either it stays for everyone or goes for everyone.

We hear so much of the damage a rape allegation does to the accused man, as if vindictive/ bitter/ scorned / crazy women are using an accusation of rape as a weapon against innocent men they've trapped.

Thankfully wrongful rape convictions are extremely rare. But there doesn't need to be a conviction for an allegation of rape/abuse against a woman or child to do irreparable, life-changing damage to a man. There's also the impact false accusations have on people's willingness to believe genuine victims to consider.

I'm in favour of incredibly harsh prison terms where an accusation of that nature has been found to be malicious.

I don't engage in the old 'They should get the same punishment as a rapist' debate we see so often though. Separate issue.