Newly single 2 children and feeling so lonely on the weekend.

[NeedingASafeSpace]

I’m newly single but healing from a DA relationship. I feel so lonely. I don’t miss my abuser at all but I think I got used to having some adult company although dreadful. I’d never dream of returning but I wondered how people deal with that? I have family but even with them I just feel lonely. Probably because I’m healing to be honest.

How old are your kids? My mate who is newly single with youngsters tries to organise playdates with the parents too at the weekend. Varied success but the kids are always happy with the company at least! Although some of the parents see it as an opportunity for free child care and dont hang around…but he’s made a couple of friends.

Firstly, when you leave a relationship there are physical changes in hormones etc so it is no wonder that you’re feeling out of sorts. It does take time.

Do you have any existing friendships? I sometimes think reigniting old friendships is easier than making new friends.

I've been on my own for 15 years OP.

I chat to people at park run, I joined the parish council, I practise martial arts with a club. I make food for the village youth club. I got to know my neighbours. I chat to family online.
That plus the radio and MN is enough conversation for me.

It will come, it just takes a bit of time.

I don’t have existing friendships. They were all long gone when I got with my ex

Well, what would you like to do OP? That's probably the best place to start. And what level of company are you looking for?

The obvious place to start is by seeing what is on at the weekend near you. Unless you're very rural, there is probably a leisure centre with a pool, gym and a mixture of exercise classes. There may be a parkrun nearby at 9am on a Saturday and you can run, walk and/or volunteer to marshal, the latter being a better way of meeting people. There's religion of all kinds and often social opportunities around services inc. bell ringing, serving of tea and coffee, flower arranging, etc. If you have a local bookshop there are often readings and events and may be a book group. There may be a local walking group. A lot of people are on their own at the weekends and are looking for company.

You're clearly going through a period of adjustment which will take time. The way you're feeling is perfectly natural; even if he was abusive. Allow yourself time. Focus on your children. Maybe reach out to any friends / colleagues for support or advice.