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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What is wrong with me?

5 replies

leighaq · 27/11/2025 14:08

Relationship wise, we've had a pretty shitty 2/3 years (probably longer - but this is where it has peaked).

  • He has been caught on dating apps and tried to blame it on me.
  • I recently had a big event that he should have attended, however, I knew he didn't want to as it was going to be a long day. He text at the last minute saying he wasn't going to make it.
  • Sex is rare (that's my choice).
  • I feel disrespected... no help around the house, silent treatment, poor communication, etc.
  • There is a lot more I could add but I feel I would out myself if any friends were on here...

I recently did try therapy, however, until I actually speak to him about these issues, it was pointless continuing - in my opinion.

When I do try to communicate with him, it's like talking to a teenager - he always has to have the last word and takes everything as an attack.

The point of my post is why am I struggling to just walk away? Does anyone have an advice? I just want a fresh, HAPPY start to the new year.

OP posts:
noidea69 · 27/11/2025 14:10

Imagine fear of unknown is holding you back.

Only advice is to get on and do it, if you need to plan for a few months then fair enough, but just leave him.

notsurewhattodo12345 · 27/11/2025 14:19

Is he similar to another important figure in your life? Sometimes the similarity/ familiarity might make the other shitty person look nice to you, subconsciously. Otherwise I would force myself to leave in the same way I force myself to take a bitter, disgusting medicine that has been prescribed to me by the doctor, knowing that it doesn’t feel good now but it is what is right for me. It is very hard, you have my sympathy. You can do it.

TwistedWonder · 27/11/2025 14:34

What are you scared of OP? Why is the fear of being single worse than living in a toxic relationship?

leighaq · 27/11/2025 19:49

Thankfully none of my male role models are similar to this. My dad would be less than impressed with him.

OP posts:
SillyJilly2020 · 27/11/2025 20:33

Just leave ffs

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