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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Potential relationship

8 replies

lauribec · 26/11/2025 23:24

My family use an electrician who went through a break up last year, she sounded a little crazy from what I’ve been told 😅 my auntie asked me if I had any nice friends I could maybe set him up with. I have someone in mind, I think they’d gel really well.

This guy has said to me before about how he gets on so well with my OH etc (builders) because they’re all so similar but this couldn’t be further from the truth. I’ve heard the way they talk about him and it’s not all that nice whereas this guy comes across as the total opposite!

He always asks how how everyone is, is super respectful of our home - takes his shoes off to walk over carpets etc, stops to chat about absolutely anything. He’s only seen my kids briefly a couple of times but remembers their names and always chats to them, even makes a real effort with my 2YO, I’ve never actually known another man to be like it with any of my kids. He just comes across a really lovely guy.

He was over the other day and we somehow got onto the topic of having children and I told him I’d love another baby but I’m too old, so he asked how old I am and told me he’s 36 next year. He then went on to say he would probably meet someone who already had children.

My initial thought was how I have a lot of respect for people who can take on someone else’s kids and be a positive role model in their lives however the more I thought about it, is it a bit strange that he thinks he’d like to meet someone who already had kids? Maybe I’m just overthinking it but he also was asking me questions about my daughters new school (just started high school) where it was, about the bus route, how far from home etc.

Like I say, he’s always come across super lovely and I’ve always liked him but not quite sure what to think. Wondering if I should even mention him to my friend at all, she has a young daughter and I just think you can’t be too careful in this world! Could just be innocent conversation but my brain won’t switch off from it just in case. Any thoughts?

OP posts:
Andepeda · 26/11/2025 23:54

If in any doubt at all, do nothing. It's a worry you don't need.

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 27/11/2025 00:25

she sounded a little crazy from what I’ve been told

Did the sparky say that? Because it's a red flag if he did.

UpDownAllAround1 · 27/11/2025 02:19

He was been friendly. Leave it

lauribec · 27/11/2025 06:21

Andepeda · 26/11/2025 23:54

If in any doubt at all, do nothing. It's a worry you don't need.

You’re right, I’ve got enough to think about as it is 😅 if he’s genuinely as nice as I think he is though I’d really love for him to be happy but perhaps there’s a reason he hasn’t settled down.

OP posts:
lauribec · 27/11/2025 06:25

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 27/11/2025 00:25

she sounded a little crazy from what I’ve been told

Did the sparky say that? Because it's a red flag if he did.

No those are my worlds not his, it was my auntie who told me all about it. He only mentioned they’d separated when I saw him this week. He also said he now had 2 female lodgers so that might not help in terms of a serious relationship 🫣😂

OP posts:
lauribec · 27/11/2025 06:29

UpDownAllAround1 · 27/11/2025 02:19

He was been friendly. Leave it

My gut instinct is he’s just a nice guy. I’ve got a lot of time for him. I’ve just always had the impression that men prefer not to go for women with kids (maybe that just says a lot about the people I know! 😂)

OP posts:
SomewhatAnnoyed · 27/11/2025 23:48

It might be that he’s a paedophile.

Or it might be bc he’s mid-late 30s and expects to date someone of a similar age who is likely to have kids. That actually a massive plus in my eyes bc a lot of men his age would be hoping to get with women 10+ years younger and possibly hate the sight of their own kids let alone someone else’s.

The convo about your daughter’s school and bus route could be a red flag… I’m not sure what you think he’s likely to do with that information? Lie in wait like the big bad wolf and abduct her? From what you’ve said if his character it’s probably more likely he was trying to be friendly by making conversation and showing an interest in your family out of politeness.

What exactly has your OH and his mates been saying about him? That he’s clearly gay or a paedo bc he’s not a fellow knuckle-dragger?

I think it’s pretty sad for you that he stands out simply for showing some common courtesy and consideration, as you are used to the men in your life not doing this, and this isn’t the norm for you. Maybe you should get with him, OP.

Zanatdy · 28/11/2025 06:37

He is probably being realistic as most women later in life have kids so chances of him meeting someone with kids is high.

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