Children routines and schedules

[daddk]

Looking for advice on co-parenting schedules.
My ex and I separated in April 2023 after Covid really strained our relationship. We have three kids who does lots of after-school activities, and we’ve agreed on a 50/50 arrangement.
A simple week-on/week-off schedule doesn’t work (if the kids are to keep their activities), so we’re managing week by week, which is really challenging. There’s rarely any time without the kids, and when I do get time, it’s often at short notice.
I’ve suggested a routine where we each have a day off and alternate weekends, but it’s tricky with all the activities. I want some personal time, including to meet someone new, but my ex isn’t interested in dating. I do get more time for myself than she does, and she complains about never having time—but she’s not helping to set up a consistent schedule.
I have moved on but it feels like she’s blaming me for breaking the family, even if it has been nearly three years since we separated. It feels like she is preventing me from moving on properly by not agreeing to a schedule with more kids free time for both of us.
Any tips on managing schedules fairly while keeping the kids’ routine and everyone’s sanity intact?

I don’t understand. It sounds like it’s the kids’ activities that are stopping you having consistent kid free time, not your ex.

Have you come up with a schedule that works with the activities, and allows you each kid free time, but she is saying no to it?

Or is this basically you saying “my kids need to drop some activities so I can date”?

What does the arrangement actually look like? I'm struggling to envisage why you don't have any free time if it's 50/50.

I have three DC who did lots of activities (they're older now) - I can imagine if DH and I had split up it would have been a headache to get them to everything.

Agree with @minipie - have you come up with an idea for a schedule that would work for you? It's possible the kids may have to drop some activities.

It feels like she is preventing me from moving on properly by not agreeing to a schedule with more kids free time for both of us.

It sounds more like she is putting consistency for the kids ahead of either of you having child free time or dating. Like a good parent.

Are you comfortable telling your kids that on top of their parents split, they now need to drop some of their hobbies, so that you can date new people?

Unless you have come up with a magical schedule that allows for all the activities and child free time, and she is refusing it… but it doesn’t sound like it.