Just need some levelheadedness on a situation pls

[neverstoppingmum]

Hello,

so me and my partner have been together for nearly 3 years, never had any issues with family etc until now. So we’ve been quite close with his brother this last year and it’s been nice, however, I was at the football 2 weeks ago and I was sat next to his brother and my partner on the other side. Partners brother pulled out his phone and I just glanced over because I saw him move in the corner of my eye, I usually would look away however I saw my name in a message with his new girlfriend who doesn’t know me and curiosity got the best of me lol, he was saying things to her which made me seem to be a weirdo like “ has asked me to do DIY” which, I didn’t, I made a joke about getting him to do some but he left out context, and then another message off him said “ touched my leg” I didn’t touch it like to touch it I slapped his knee as part of a joke, so both were left out of context and her replies were like “maybe she wants to watch you do DIY” and “fuck* why?????” And asked if the knee touching was a regular occurrence or a one off, and then said it’s weird she’s asked you to do it and not (boyfriend), there was so much context left out of what he said, baring in mind his girlfriend has never met me so she probably already thinks I’m a weirdo. So anyway I didn’t say anything because I thought well whilst I haven’t done anything wrong I shouldn’t have read the messages lol but I saw my name so how can I not!!?? I spoke to my bf about it and he pulled him up on it a week or so later when I wasn’t there and he said he was saying things about me to his new girlfriend who’s only been with him for like 2 weeks because I annoyed him, he was annoyed with something I’d told my partner which had nothing to do with him he’d just overheard the conversation, the messages never indicated being annoyed but in my eyes as if he was disgusted and couldn’t understand why I was there. So anyway hes asked for the last 2/3 matches if his girlfriend could have the ticket I have been using for a year. So I feel like maybe he’s attempting to push me out so his new girlfriend can have the ticket and go instead of me, am I wrong for feeling like this? I thought we had a good relationship but he’s just made me out to be a weirdo and I just don’t get it

I'd keep a healthy distance from your partners brother in future.

nodding terms, pleasant but don't get overfamiliar with him, eg no more leg slapping etc.

he clearly can't be trusted to be discrete so don't give him any opportunities to gossip with whoever his latest squeeze is.

having done that, don't be bothered with anything he says, he sounds like a twat whose opinion should count for nothing.

Swap seats with your bf so he sits in between you and his brother. Problem solved and no need for her to take your ticket.

So you managed read an entire text conversation about you with a quick sideways glance and with out your BIL noticing you were reading his messages?

Yes, I was going to say that the OP should take her capacity for instant sideways reading on a small screen to MI5.

I was sat in the middle of him and my partner and his phone was like infront so all I had to do was turn my head slightly and I can see everything on his phone, he wasn’t exactly hiding it

now I look back I think he wanted me to see because I think he did look a few times to see if I was looking I think idk

I assume from the knee slapping you have felt that you had a matey kind of relationship with the brother. I think you’ve misjudged that and probably because he has been very two faced as he’s suddenly slagging you off to a new girlfriend. That’s got to sting. But at least you know now. Don’t give up your ticket. Avoid him when you can; when you can’t just treat him with cool indifference. Chilly enough for him to back off but not cold enough for you to be accused of causing a problem.

I think it’s deeply far-fetched to think it’s some cunning plan to get you to give up your season ticket to his new woman. I wouldn’t give it a second thought. I imagine it’s some minor mind game where he’s trying to make the new girlfriend jealous by presenting the woman he sits next to at the football as totally into him, wanting him to do DIY for her and touching him suggestively on the leg. Just ignore.

Yeah since his ex left him we sorta had more of a relationship that before that because we saw him more etc so I assumed that we were friends etc because he’d been to mine a lot etc and gone out as a 3 but idk lol maybe he just put up with me because my boyfriend is his brother lol

Yeah I don’t think it was to give up the season ticket but I do think maybe he wanted me to see it?? Idk I just think it’s weird n I wanted to make sure i wasn’t being paranoid lol I definitely do not want anything more than that

So he’s two faced and a user. Freeze him out and don’t give him any more thought