Intensity after dating for 3 months, feel like we are at different stages

[Bluejeansrose78]

I’ve been seeing this guy for aroubd 2-3 months and things have been going really well, however I have told a few times that i do feel like he is rushing things a bit fast

for example he asked me to be his girlfriend two months into dating and I Said for me whilst i really enjoyed how it was going that just felt a little too so for me for the boyfriend/girlfriend question - he then asked a again a few weeks later about it as well.
he also recently during sex kept asking me if i loved him, which made me feel a bit of pressure to reply or say i did as it was during sex.

He did say afterwards he was just dirty talking but it felt really weird

very early on he did keep mentioning future plans and stuff like if he thought my parents would like him, going on trips away next year etc
he also asked if in a few years time if we are still together would i let him sleep with me without a condom

In the good old days, you were bf/gf from the word go, so that seems fine to me.

However, you feel he’s rushing you, then that’s perfectly fine. Is he love bombing you? Sone people like to talk about the future from the word go, others take it more slowly.

The question is, where do you go from here. You either tell
him you feelings, and agree to slow it down, or it’s given you the ick and you split.

making it official after 2 months is totally normal. However nothing else here is - RUN!! Pressuring you to say I love you during sex is soooo weird and the condom thing is a big red flag. If you’re having second thoughts at this stage trust your gut and get out of there 🚩🚩🚩 does he exhibit any controlling behaviours OP?

I think it is reasonable to become boyfriend and girlfriend after 2 months of dating or even less. In fact I would worry if it wasn’t ‘official’ after that sort of timeframe. Saying I love you is more tricky but he obviously feels it more than you hence he is thinking about the future. I think you are not that into him tbh.

It sounds like you’re not into him the same way or you’re not wanting a serious relationship with him. Three months in and you don’t feel comfortable at all, be honest with him.

No not really, he did once say he was going to drop round to surprise me one day, on the day i told him i wasnt home

and sometime he says to call him when im done from the gym

i think my thing is his last relationship was very intense they wrre together for five years, were engaged and sadly lost a baby.

he thought they were going to get back together in August a month before they started dating

so part of me thinks he is just continuing with that same intensity he had with the ex

He needs time to heal from his last relationship. Reflect and give himself head space.

He’s looking to fill the emotional gap created by the failed relationship. Could you be the re-bound?

If there is such a possibility, I’d be very very wary. Theres plenty on the web which explains that re-bounds are fraught with “danger ” and often fail.

He does seem to be pressuring you. Take care.

If it’s too much for you then break it off. I think as women we are trained to put up with much more than we are actually comfortable with. Tbf it does sound a bit intense and he isn’t listening to you. Boundary stomping at this stage just doesn’t bode well long term. L

I don’t think wanting exclusivity and being in a bf/gf relationship after 2 months is rushing or intense, I think that’s normal.

However regarding everything else, I think he’s jumped into a rebound relationship with you without dealing with the emotions of his last relationship and so it’s got disaster written all over it.

Sounds like he is more into you than you are him at this stage. I don't think there is anything wrong with having the exclusive conversation a few months in nor talking about future plans. The condom thing is weird but you were there for the context of that not us. If it is too fast then tell him to slow down or get rid.

If I was exclusively dating someone for two months and I asked them to be my boyfriend and they said it was too soon I'd Chuck them!

To me it wouldn't be too soon and I'd think they were a time waster just after sex if they couldn't call me 'girlfriend' after two or three months.

And it's not that shocking that he probably wants to ditch the condoms if you're in a long term relationship. Most men hate them. Of course you should insist on one if you don't want to take contraception but him raising it doesn't seem all that surprising.

But, the thing about him asking you if you love him during sex is very red flag tastic.

Then trying to palm it off as 'dirty talk'. Lol yeah really filthy x rated stuff, the L word?! 🙄🤣

It's clear you're not that into him so I'd say you should probably part ways.

I remember the opposite; people dated around without the pressure to be instantly (and prematurely) part of a couple.

Be aware that what he tells you might not be true @Bluejeansrose78 , no matter how believable he seems.

And listen to your doubts, they're trying to protect you.