Am I overthinking this?

[RoeDeer86]

So, after being single for 6 years, I finally decided to go back on a dating site and see what was out there. Woefully out of practice, but exchanged numbers with someone after chatting for a short while. He proceeds to send me a selfie. Okay, that’s fine, I guess. I can see his photos, so I know what he looks like though. My pictures are up to date, so I don’t really feel comfortable sending photos to someone I’ve been chatting to for two days. Now he’s just sent me another. No comment with this one. He complimented me and called me beautiful, to which I said thanks, but was very quick to ask what I thought about his photos/looks. We haven’t even met, is it all about looks?! He hasn’t asked what I do for work, or what my passions are, or anything remotely engaging. I’m finding it hard to engage. I asked about his work but nothing was reciprocated. He sends another message half an hour later if I don’t reply, usually asking if I’m okay. Calls me darling and sweetheart a lot. Am I overthinking this?! He feels suffocating before we’ve even begun. Any thoughts welcomed!

No you’re not overthinking. I came across a few like that in my OLD days and found it creepy that they were so looks obsessed and throwing cheap lazy compliments at someone they’ve never met.

And I found that invariably those were the ones who turned the chat sleazy and were just looking for sex.

I cooled right off with a guy like this a few weeks ago and let it fizzle. He came back a week later seeming a bit more normal. I think OLD makes people anxious. Maybe just tell him he’s full on and try to meet for a quick coffee soon if you like him so you can confirm if he’s weird or not. Try not to drag out texting if there’s potential. It’s a waste of time. Sound like he may just be after a shag tbh, what’s his strong points?

Thank you! I mean he hasn’t been inappropriate, but it’s just a lot! Like why don’t they ask about you and what you like and expect reciprocation that way?! What I look like I absolutely the least interesting thing about me. Feeling ready to give up before I’ve even begun 😂🙈

Oh I absolutely get that it makes people anxious, but double messaging is a bit overbearing, as is constantly calling me ‘sweetheart’. I’ve realised he lives about 150 miles away, so I’m starting to think that might be for best.

Struggling for strong points right now. He’s not bad looking but I don’t base my opinions a lot on looks, especially before I’ve met someone. I want to know their passions and what makes them feel alive, the things they live for. His profile seemed to imply he was quite deep and interesting, but over the phone it’s just become “how are you?” “Did you have a nice day?”

I matched with someone like this. He sent me a few as drip feeds then 15 photos and videos in a row, none of which was requested or appreciated. Nothing sleazy just weird. I told him this was too much and blocked. I suspect he does this to everyone.
Block and move on. Don’t try to understand strange behaviour, you never will.
Try and stay resilient, you’ll likely get a lot more weird behaviour on there.

I had several like that but one in particular who I actually met in rl not OLD sent me 4 selfies the morning after we exchanged numbers before I was even out of bed! Sorry mate but I really have zero interest in seeing you drinking coffee in the van or plastering a wall less than 24 hours after giving you my number.

I had another who sent me daily gym selfies and he turned leach very quickly,

And another sent me a selfie at his desk at work then asked me to do the same - no thanks I’m not taking selfies in the office like a twat

I get its some peoples thing but I find it cringey

He’s just lazy. There’s no future in it.
Next!

I'd bet money that if you send him a photo back the next picture you get will be of his dick.

There are plenty more fish out there - just throw this one back 🐟

Thanks all! He’s just messaged to say “not a selfie person?” 😂

No Nigel, I’m not.

Fish being thrown back!