There is a guy I know. He is more of an acquaintance. He has Asperger’s Syndrome. I was a good ear in a bad time of his life but now he just messages everyday complaining about the problems in his life. Many times myself and others have told him the solutions but he refuses to sort the problems.
I think he secretly enjoys being a victim as it means he gets to tell people his story and he has contact with someone. He puts people down who read his messages and take days to reply. On Saturday I messaged and said me and my partner are out all day on Sunday as he gets paranoid if you don’t reply within hours.
On the day out he is messaging negative things about his problems. I didn’t respond until I got back. I find it selfish he has tried to ruin my day out. Then I left it for hours to reply. He starts being funny saying is there something wrong and I haven’t been in touch!
He said he will message tomorrow which is today. I am tired of it all now. He doesn’t work and moans about trivial things which can be easily sorted. The other day it was about a bad experience in a shop, then it’s his parents, his sister, neighbours or women he is trying to date. It’s always negative. Because he doesn’t work he has too much time on his hands.
I have signposted him to external agencies before and sent links and phone numbers because some of these issues are out of my depth. He refuses to ring the domestic abuse line about his parents who domestically abuse as he lives with them - I said ring away from the house. I said but you need to talk to someone about it. I don’t want to get involved and who am I to access or not recognise a trait if he is in danger. He has his own house but is being ‘bullied’ by neighbours. I have been there and there has been no noise that he always complains of.
I think his main problem is loneliness. He says he wants to meet a woman like me. He needs to realise I am not that woman. He said most women don’t listen or reciprocate. My partner worked with him 20 years ago and said he was the same at work constantly asking people
to show him a process again and then when they got fed up after multiple times and they told him he reported them for bullying. My partner says I have too much patience and don’t know how I do it as others tried and failed.
I work full time and have a partner who has health issues and I do a lot of driving. I also have to support my brother with his mental health. I am at breaking point and can’t take on another person’s problems.