Mums far away from home - splitting up from husband how do you afford it?

[Catmousedoghouse]

I live in a different country with DH and our 2 small children. Only soft landing I have is in UK. How do I afford to leave my husband but not rip my children away from their dad? I can't afford to live anywhere near him. I have savings I could use for flights but I'm a SAHM. I don't think I have a visa to work in this country.

He doesn't want to split. So I'd be the one splitting up the family. I'd be the reason they'd go from seeing him every day, crawling into bed together, to seeing him maybe 6-10 times a year.

The question remains if we really have to split. I wish we didn't. But pretty sure I'm in an abusive relationship that will impact our children either directly or indirectly. Abuse has been going on for about 6 years. I've documented it for the last 2 years and seen a counsellor. He acknowledges his pattern of humiliating and intimidating me but says I provoke it.

Are you allowed to leave the country with them, without his permission?

Yes definitely

If he will definitely give you permission to take the children to live outside the country, that seems to be the best solution.

You don’t really have a choice but to move to somewhere you can work and get a home. If your husband wants to he can move back to the UK o presume. If the marriage is over then it is not just on you.

Can you tell us which country you’re in.

There is a big difference between taking the kids on holiday somewhere and taking them to live in a different country.

Divorce is no fault now in the UK, which could well be easier than where you are. Do you have family you can stay with? Getting housing fresh off a plane will be hard. But getting benefits and work easier.

the reality is your choices are one of two:

1. leave the country you’re in to one where you can work
2. stay in an abusive relationship modelling to your children that an abusive relationship is normal so that they go on to repeat the pattern

the reality is op that you have unfortunately made some silly decisions in the past, so the consequences of that are that your situation is now harder to resolve.

Are you sure? Is the country you're in a signatory to the Hague convention? Because if so you can't take them anywhere without an arrest for child abduction

I agree with you, there's no way I'd move countries without the permission of their dad! Not planning on becoming a fugitive. I was just answering the question about whether or not I can take a flight with them alone. I can.