huggymummy again - my dh has surpassed himself this time

[huggymummy]

I posted before Easter about my dh trying to justify taking our ds to see his family abroad without me - we have a deteriorated relationship.

The update is this - I sought legal advice prior to us all going to his country to see dying fil. The stupid lawyer then wrote a summary, sent it to my house, dh opened my mail, he called me at work out of control and threatens to cut my head off. I shat my pants. He was looking after ds at the time.

Calm him down over the days and inspite of this and the whole world telling me to run three weeks later at Easter went to his country spent nine days of shite there (his family iknow about my seeing the lawyer) saw dying fil for 3 whole hours, brought mil back to uk at the end of March. She has been here since in our small two bedroom flat. She leaves next week. Noone had the decency to tell me how long she's be here.

TODAY dh reminds me are going to his country AGAIN in august. I say no - he kicks off- all the names under the sun - threatens legal action - now wants £450 per month to look after ds. So I guess that's a divorce. Get's very nasty and then asks me when I'm taking annual leave so we can all go on holiday together.

WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE. Anyone know if this like a nervous breakdown he's having? I'm now at a complete loss at how to repair this relationship.

We've spent since ds born 30 days with his family, mil, three months with us, 15 days with my mum who lives an hour away and 2 days as a family.

He still things it's normal to take ds abroad without me whenever he likes to see his family. How do I explain to him........ God give me strength.

Hang on...... Why is he asking you for £450 to look after DS? And is his country one with an agreement with the UK to return snatched kids?

Where's he from? If it's an Islamic state you could find yourself unable to get your children back.

He from a southern eu state. I just can't beleive that he's taking the piss after all the stress he put me through before.

Clearly not intersted in the relationship. I've spent the last fecking 3 months on either at work or on the computer - they just watch their national tv - we eat their food all the time - I've had no life - and he's bloody taking the piss.

And what I really hate is mil is sat next door with dh and they're whispering and the whole fecking problem has been is that she calls him all the time with her needs- and that's why everything the man does has her needs behind it - and now she' s in MY house where she can lobby him face to face.

They are bonkers. I'm holed up in here so I don't go marching into the living and say something I'll regret. Honestly if the stupid woman thinks she can stay here 3 months without telling me and then expect us to go back to her country 7 weeks later she's a complete and utter nutter.

my sil gave me a grilling, nay, interrogation when I was in their country - all about how often I went to see my family (not bloody enough) so it's obviously a competition (that they started and they are winning) and when I told dh his words were 'so what - who the fxxx do you think you are'. Charming!

Sorry I'm on a roll here.

Does the stupid ignorant twit (dh) not realise that if we divorce I'll probably get custody and due to his long working hours he'd be too tired to see ds.

He wants me to pay him to look after ds - well -- that will be one for the lawyer for sure.

Get out of there. This has been going on too long. Take the advice offered on the previous thread and follow it, for the sake of your ds!

Wow! I remember your last thread.

So you went along too in the end?

Sorry but I can't see why you are still there? Must be a horrid atmosphere, is there no one you could stay with for a few days and take ds with you?

Huggymummy - there is nothing left to save really is there?

Loads of advice n the previous thread. It really stuck in my mind. Was worried for you.

You know what you've got to do.

Are you still in touch with solicitor from before you went away?

What measures could you put in place to stop your H from taking your little DS out of the country?? Have you found out?

Would that be the same solicitor who sent the letter to her house that her DH opened and kicked off about?

You are not powerless. The time for direct action is here I reckon. Go to solicitor and start proceedings and while you are at it tell him/her not to send post to the house - get it sent to work or somewhere. You need to mention the threats as well.

HM, saw your previous post. It's Italy, isn't it? They do have agreements with the Uk AFAIK.

Why fight so hard -again-. I don't think it's worth it, opening your mail, threatening you, etc. He is being unreasonable and I believe starting proceedings and let him feel the wrath of family law is going to sort his mushy head out.

Would think twice about using the lawyer that sent a letter to your house though.