Any passive aggressive MIL comments or just plain rude ones to share?

[KiwiDollar]

My in laws are coming over tomorrow and I always dread it as my MIL is so down and negative and she can be quite passive aggressive towards me, well I did steal her only son! I am now knee deep in perimenopause so I don’t think I can bite my tongue anymore after 28 years! Here’s some of the comments and things she’s done in the past. Feel free to add your own, would love to feel I’m not the only one!

On my in laws 2nd visit to our first house the MIL bought her own mug as she said my mugs were “too heavy for her hands to hold”

Around 3/4 months after my DD was born she wanted to come and stay a week to “help” She walked in and announced immediately “Right, I’m not here to do your cooking or housework, I will nurse the baby while you carry on with your jobs” I was breastfeeding my DD at the time! She just sat there and did nothing but hold my baby and play the new mother. She made me one sandwich the entire week. That was her effort.

When my DD was a baby (until she was around 2) the in laws would come to visit always mid week when my DH was at work so I had them all day from 10am - 8pm. She would speak through my DD to try and control my parenting I.e. say out loud “oh mummy stop doing that. Oh mummy I don’t need to be picked up now, oh mummy stop fussing over me” I wasn’t ever doing what she said, she was just really jealous every time I held her.

One time my DH took DD over to theirs when she was about 2 1/2 to stay the day and night as we were at a wedding. I got all my daughters overnight things ready and my husband left but he forgot her coat. The next day she came back wearing the same clothes I had put her in and the same knickers even though I packed a clean pair, and clean clothes. Fast forward a year later and MIL tells me she came across the coat from the time they had DD for the weekend. “It was from when you forgot to send her with a coat, do you remember? It was such a cold weekend and she had nothing so I had to find one quickly. It was at least 2 sizes too big!” tinkly laugh staring at me

The most recent one was when I made a sweet and sour chicken for us all which I know she likes. I know she loves red and orange peppers but not green as we’ve talked about it before so I didn’t put any green in. She was in yet another dark mood that day and ate it really slowly. We had to wait for her as usual. She pushed all the peppers to one side and didn’t touch them. I said “why haven’t you eaten the peppers?” She replied in a grumpy tone “I don’t like peppers, I never have” We have NEVER been invited to theirs for a meal. They always come to ours and I have to cook.

Just a few, but think I could write a book! Would love to hear your stories.

What happened to low/no contact or h's backiing their w /p's up or are some of them scared of their mum and upsetting her, crocodile tears time?
Loved the fainting 'she's not breathing' over the car bonnet.
Does anyone watch 'Everyone loves Raymond' ? For the mil for hell Marie is brilliant, and the golden child Ray. Worth a watch, someone must have read MN about toxic inlaws and wrote the comedy.

I never had any particular complexes about my appearance until my DC were born and my MIL let loose 😅 one apparently looked just like DH except they have my "pronounced chin", and the other looked like one of DH's siblings, but with my "prominent nose".

By this point I think you can just call me Quasimodo...

My ex MIL, and FIL, visited from Canada. I had no clue but ex twit did and failed to tell me. They arrived while I was sorting out an asthma attack, which was not a bad one but an inhaler was required. She immediately lit up, in my kitchen. I tried to get her out of the kitchen door but she made a fuss about having traveled 5000 miles to see me. I managed to point out that another 10 feet won’t make no nevermind then. She refused to move so, making the assumption that she was on fire, I put her out with a jug of squash.

it was an interesting visit. I was done with the relationship by then. It was the beginning of my acquisition of a backbone.

Good god woman you need to stop being a doormat! My MIL was a tricky creature and frequently " made comments " but there's no way I would allow it in my own home. If she complained about food or what we were having for dinner I would just ask her what type of sandwich she would like instead. I would completely ignore comments made under breath or ask loudly "Are you OK because everything seems to be upsetting you today. We really don't mind if you'd rather be a home". The attitude soon stopped and we got on well in the end. People will only treat you how you allow yourself to be treated.

A book would be very boring and nobody would buy it.
Hardly a best seller people moaning about other people.

I love Shawna. Would really recommend.

Whats with the mother in law bashing? You married someone with a difficult mother, but shes an individual , not one of a group who are rightfully despised and ridiculed !

My mil was a nightmare from the start, but its the type of person she is and no one says anything to her because her mental health isnt great. So she says and does whatever she likes.
She used to.call herself mummy to my kids, told me she knew better than me because she had had 2 children. (I've got 5, do I outrank her now?)
Demand to look after them when they were babies and I was cruel if I didnt let her, then she would forget to turn up to arranged date and blame us.
If you ask her not to smoke infront of the kids you are told to f*ck off basically, she can do as she likes. Queue us leaving or not even bothering to go round.
If you challenge her on anything you are bullying her. She lies an awful lot. But she likes to pretend shes nan of the year. I would never speak to her if she was my mother but shes not so I just give her a wide berth now. As the kids are getting older they also do.

My MIL was a very nasty bitch even to her own grandchildren.
FIL has passed now, so she’s extremely lonely. People reap what they sow in the end.

I could write a book..:

Oj travelling to see distant family in USA, “I’m taking all of my jewellery to pass to great nieces age 6 & 7”. I said “They’re a little young, I’m not sure they’ll appreciate it”. She responded, “Well there are no women in my family so who will I leave them to?”.

On seeing our new home for the first time, “I can’t think of anything nice to say. Maybe when you decorate I’ll like it”.

Struggling to breast feed DC1, “When I fed DH, my milk just flowed and flowed”.

when I told her I have mild kidney disease, “That’s because you drink too much wine”. She’s never seen me drink a drop of alcohol. DH confronted her on this and she lied and said she never said anything of the kind 🤦‍♀️😂

She will tell you bad news about someone and then laugh at their misfortune. She is a truly horrid woman.

Needless to say I’m now very low contact!

MIL was one of those people where the remote control was glued to her hand. But I would get the blame for what was on the TV ‘oh Dark do you watch crap like this, how embarrassing’. I’d be like ‘you can turn it over/off I’m not watching it’ ‘oh wait till I tell everyone about it, watching such rubbish’. Such bizarre behaviour.
She did it to both me and BIL once and we walked out and then she sulked about being left on her own.

Did we need another MIL bashing thread? Aren’t there enough already?

I’d go fucking mental if someone told my dc I was a bad mummy.

All these mils talk8ng through the kids would have me shoving them out the door.

Fortunately my MIL is absolutely lovely. If she was like some of the ones on this thread, I'd have nothing to do with her.

My MIL once threw a big blanket over me when I was breast feeding, because 'no one wants to see that'. this was in my own home, she was the only other person in the room.

My ex’s mother in law was lovely. She was really supportive and loving even after her son and I split up. My new MIL (Spanish, no English and my Spanish/Valencian still rubbish even though I am trying very hard to learn) asked my partner in front of me if there was no chance he would get back with her previous daughter in law who she preferred. In Valencian. My partner was happy to translate later.

Agree - but some are individuals scarred by life. No-one is born bad, experience makes people that way.
My MIL died around 15 years ago, and at that time I was relieved to be rid of her. She wouldn’t have so much as a cup of tea in our house as I didn’t bleach my cups out every Sunday afternoon (?!?!). On the very rare occasion we’d ask them to babysit she’d bring a flask, whilst we’d hide our paperwork.
A few years later her sister told me about MIL joining the Army at 18 and coming home a very different person, thought to be why she became so erratically judgemental. She married a weak man who seemed happy to be bossed about.
After learning that I do feel an iota of sympathy. But balanced against the grief she handed out (so much more than the above) it’s just that iota.

I totally agree that some DILs have a truly horrible time with their MILs, and there is something about the woman hanging around your home criticising your washing up and the way you bring up your children, that makes it especially hard to be in that relationship. I was only pointing out that their dodgy behaviour is because of who they are and the experiences they have lived through, not just because they are MILs, who seem to be getting a bad name.

I remember my now deceased MIL popping over and saying, I will take some ironing with me as you seem to be struggling to keep up ( this was working full time with an under1) - whilst she didn’t work at all- no mention of my H(her son) struggling to keep up

This is the second thread I've read recently inviting people to tell MIL horror stories. Awful.

Mine spent my entire second pregnancy pretending to be worried sick that they had my dates wrong or that I was having an unspotted twin pregnancy as I was SO ENORMOUS. I was totally normally sized - she’s just obsessed with weight.

Not MIL I don't have one but DIL, rang me up on Xmas morning to tell me rudely she didn't like my gift to her and didn't want it. Then she couldn't be arsed to send it back to me so that was £100 down the toilet. I even said no problem Ill return it and give you the money. This has been a theme with gifting to her so I started sending money instead but received no thaks so I don't bother any more.
I've done nothing to deserve this rudeness. She doesn't like anyone in our family either.

God I don’t envy you. My MIL died 4 years ago and life is bliss now! I had put all her toxicity in a box at the back of my mind, but reading your post has brought it all flooding back. Horrendous today’s!

sending strength your way!

As you can tell from my user name, my DS is Autistic and has ADHD (recently diagnosed), DS is now 8 and after a lot of very expensive SLT speaks a little.

EVERY week she arrives with a story about someone who is non verbal Autistic who now speaks and she loves to wax lyrical about how it ‘gives her hope that DGS will grow out of being that way’ she has no clue…… 🤦‍♀️

The best response to any Pa comments is always ‘what a strange thing to say out loud?’ In a confused voice. Shows it’s having no impact on your feelings but calls out their rudeness