Partners gone

[Therunecaster]

Hi,
Ive returned this evening from a work event some distance away to find that my partner of 20 years has left me. Packed up his stuff and gone! No discussion no reason! I'm in shock and I'm numb.

No calls?
Emails?
His work?
His family?
Friends?

These things happen in movies...im sorry...dont know what to say.

But...
Does part of you feel relieved?
Or broken?

Did he leave a note? Could he have just been called to an emergency?

I'm not trying to sound patronising at all, but if you've come home to an unusual sight, is it definitely what you think it is, if it's a total shock?

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way.

He left a note saying he didn't want this life anymore and he was going back to his home which he had rented out and not lived in for the last 8 years. I've silent to him briefly. I don't know how I feel, I'm shocked wandering round a half empty house

Sending you a hug.

How has your relationship been recently? Was there no indication that he wanted to leave?

He's always been reluctant to commit and had recently but his house up for sale. Apparently he got an offer of the full asking price and then decided he'd rather go back. I made a typo on the op it's 10 we've been together, he's lived with me for 8

I'm so, so, sorry. How unfair and fairly cowardly of him to leave a note and not talk to you. Be so incredibly nice to yourself tonight, distract yourself with a book, a film, a podcast. Just let yourself rest and then sleep. Things are always much better to deal with in daylight. Again, I am so sorry, this is a horrible way to treat anyone.

Thank you for the kind comments. Apparently I'm boring! I've lost 11 stone in the last 16 months down from 19 to 8 stone and I've been so happy but I'm still not good enough

I know it's hard, but try your best not to ruminate tonight - that way madness and unhappiness lies. You need to look after yourself and give yourself some peace - even if it means falling asleep to the shipping forecast!

The weight loss is interesting - do you think he might have felt threatened by it? Often when one side of a partnership makes a big effort to improve their circumstances the other side feels threatened - could be it? 'Boring' is such a cop out term. But hey, he's shown you his true self - that's priceless.

This is not you ...you are amazing.

What a cowardly way to finish a relationship.
Well done on your weight loss.
Onwards and upwards now 🌸💐

That explains it! He’s fucking jealous that you’ve taken control of something you struggled with and is scared you’ll dump him, so he left. You’re well rid

I hope in time you meet a man who appreciates you and truly loves you. Well done on your amazing weight loss, You deserve a loving man.

Together 20 years and he still wouldn’t commit to you?

well fuck him;don’t be sad;the trash has taken itself out.

Do not give this man a second chance if he comes crawling out from under his rock.

Shake yourself off;give yourself some time and some breathing room then take your new slinky sexy self back out there for a decent man (they do exist)

'Reluctant to commit' after 10 years together doesn't sound good.
Actually, it sounds miserable for you.
You deserve better. (Anyone deserves better!)

Well done on reaching 8 stone - it must feel great to be so light.

Suddenly losing this unexpected final 12 stone or so might turn out to be the real blessing though.

Leave him to the empty house he returned to.

I'm sorry for the shock and pain you have now but if I was a betting woman I'd put my money on your future being the happy one.

Congratulations on your massive weight loss.

He may feel insecure with your weight loss. It's such a cowardly way to behave on his part.. after 10 years together. Shocking.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this.

I would suggest you don't bother contacting him and change your locks.

Get this book. Honestly it will help you. There's a website too.

He's an absolute coward and you deserve so much better.
Don't run after him!
You've done amazing on your weightloss OP, well done.

He thought you were going to dump him so he did it first. I’ve seen this before when women lose a lot of weight.

You're well rid OP.

Jesus, what a shock!

Hope you're ok OP, I have no words of advice because I have no idea what I'd do in your position, but I really hope that he's done you a favour and this is an opportunity for you to start a new lease of life for yourself. You've already done something amazing with all that weight loss, maybe this is your sign that change is good and life is too short to waste on a man who is scared of commitment after ten years (!!!)

Nevertheless, breakups are hard even when they're for the best, so sending hugs and positive vibes 💐

Yeah I get why you are in shock. I would be too.

But this one is not on you. I am sorry this is your reality now, its so heartbreaking. Its on him though as he could have been a decent man and had this conversation with you face to face rather than just leave a note. That is his communication style, and has zero to do with your worth. Let him go, dont chase him, nothing good will come out of it. But do tell yourself you are worthy, over and over again. Well done on health journey, that is a difficult path, so this one will be easy compared. Lots of soft hugs.