How would you approach this?

[Lolalu09]

I openly go on my partner work laptop, sometimes he tells me to help with things.

He went out and I went on there to check something on the internet.

I see a message from his boss saying he went up to London today and took his other colleague to the griffin.

My partner replied back and said I better delete that just in case my partner goes searching.

I obviously searched and it's a strip pub. You can get dances and things like that.

I have always said to him I am against this and I class it as cheating. My previous partner did this and we broke up for it.

He's gone out and I'm waiting for him to come home. I don't know what to say. He goes London a lot with his boss so this must be a thing they do. (When there meant to be working). I never thought this of him ever.

I'm 6 months pregnant and I really don't want this stress. Also have my 2 year old. So not doing that in front of him.

How would you feel and how would you react?

I would ask him about it. If he’s working in an industry where visiting strip clubs is the norm, then it’s time for a career change. How seedy.

@333FionaG unfortunately not in that career to be anywhere near one

Gross - I wouldn’t be happy, especially if he knows your views and is keeping it secret. Sounds like he’s hiding it from you on purpose.

There's nearly a identical thread in AIBU posted half an hour ago.

@Diarygirlqueen really? Well that wasnt me 🤣

Decide on how far you want to push this outcome. If this is a true deal breaker for you (and you’ve every right for it to be) then be prepared to follow through. I’m so sorry.

He has been deceptive about something he knows you feel strongly about. I wouldn't be able to trust him again and I would feel that he had a very low opinion of me if he was able to dismiss my feelings in that way and then hide the truth. Who needs a partner who thinks so little of you?

Well I'm sorry OP but if he is going to Strip pubs when he is down in London I would very much be wondering what else he got up to when he was down there. He obviosly is very good at deceiving you as to what type of man he is.

Personally I think you need to talk to him about what you have found out. And see what he has to say for himself.

But I wouldn't feel the same about a man who thinks he has the right to buy women's bodies for his entertainment. Especially when he is supposed to be in a committed relationship.

Ugh I’m sorry. I’d address it and give him a chance to speak - just show him the message and don’t say anything - you’ll find out what you need to do moving forward by how he responds if you just wait and listen. It’s so so hard to say absolutely nothing and just wait, but it’s how to get people to tell the WHOLE truth.

You probably need to bring it up with him.

But what are you doing on his work laptop? That would be a sackable offence everywhere I've worked. It's no wonder so many companies have security breaches when staff don't understand what security is.

You class it as cheating because it is cheating. Obviously you need to bring this up with him.

Obviously you raise it with him OP. You mention that you go on his laptop openly so he knows you use it. He also knows you would be unhappy about him visiting strip clubs so he can't plead ignorance.
Show him the exchange with his boss then wait to hear his response. lts up to you how you want to move forward with this but he obviously doesn't mind lying to you by omission.