Hi there, I think it's difficult for anybody who's lost a job and it's been 4 months and they haven't gotten one yet, to feel good about themselves.
And I think especially difficult if you're the man and you think of yourself as the provider for the family, OR at the very least, you were Co provider with each of you contributing half.
Now your wife has the only income, and you guys are struggling financially.
It's great that you say that you're very involved with your home life ("you're doing all the house chores").
Do you feel like less of a man because you're not able to provide financially at this time?
Do you feel she's not as attracted to you because you're not financially providing for the household?
I don't know why you lost your employment (there's a million reasons) or if you've been extremely actively job searching with no luck or just casually, but if you feel that the main reason that you feel worthless and your wife is unhappy is tied to finances, then I would suggest that you make finding employment your full-time job.
And believe me, I know how easy that is to say...but I'm actually doing the same thing right now and it's so difficult,...the constant job searching, writing a tailored resume and cover letter for each specific job including doing the research of the company how far it would be for you to get there, finding out what the experiences for the customers with the experience is for the workers, all that stuff is important to me when I am figuring out how to write a resume or fill out a application... It's a ton of work.
And of course, you don't want to slack off on whatever you're doing around the household and you might even want to do more, like if you're doing 10 things around the house, try to do 13. Step up at home, not down.
And if you feel that there's anything you can do to make your wife feel more appreciated, more relaxed, more "sexy" when she comes home, do that too (I don't mean proposition her with a roll in the hay, unless she wants that, I just mean sexy as in whatever makes her feel better even if it's offering a glass of wine, a nice candle and suggesting for her to go take a bubble bath while you mop the floors and clean the litter boxes, you know?).
What I mean is, when she comes home from work, if you're able to, make her feel very special. And then tell her, "I've been going through a hard time with not being employed right now, it makes me feel bad and I really really do appreciate your patience while I'm job searching, and I really appreciate that your financially supporting the household." I know they sound like crazy words you probably would never say but doing something really kind for your partner would probably mean a lot to her and actually saying the words would probably mean a lot to her too.
For me, it would melt my heart. Any frustration or tiredness or resent and I might feel at having to be the soul provider for the family at this time would instantly disappear if my partner communicated to me in such a honest and open manner.
Then, as other people have suggested, whatever your previous line of work was, you might just want to not only redouble your efforts, but cast The net wider, go for other jobs that you might not have wanted to consider before but you might be able to pick up more quickly, because you can always continue your preferred job search, but as long as money is coming in, you'll feel better. (Keeping in mind I've learned recently that waiting 2 to 4 weeks after putting in your application before you even hear it response for an interview is considered to be normal these days)
As for her speaking to other people, men, online and having concerns about your finances well, I don't know. Men or women I don't know that it makes much of a difference. For me if I had a male friend or friends, or female, I would have the same concerns. To me it wouldn't be like, she's talking to other men so she's going to leave me. To me it would just be, she's having frustration and she's having concerns and she either feels that she can't talk to me or she doesn't want to make me feel bad so she won't talk to me about this so she's talking to someone else cuz she needs to talk to someone.
I don't know if this helps but I hope it does
(Edited the most obvious voice dictation errors but there's still a few spelling mistakes in there)