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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I need advice about family conflict

12 replies

Fmysparklinglight · 19/11/2025 16:30

A few months ago, I was under a lot of stress due to ongoing issues at home, particularly caring for a parent who has been showing signs of cognitive and behavioural decline. I was emotionally overwhelmed and acted out of hurt and frustration.

In a moment of anger, I sent an anonymous, hurtful message to a relative. It was wrong, and I deeply regret it. Eventually, she confronted me. At the time, I panicked and denied it because other people were present. Later, I contacted her privately, admitted what I did, apologised sincerely, and she seemed to accept it. She said she wasn’t going to involve the police or take it further, and the call ended on what felt like a civil note.

I genuinely thought that would be the end of it.

Recently, I discovered she has blocked me on Facebook, even though I haven’t posted anything or contacted her since. She didn't block me on a different platform which adds to my confusion. Another relative (unrelated to the incident) also removed me as a friend. She also didn't remove me on a different platform. It was just Facebook.

I’m not sure whether this means that she is still hurt, whether she wants distance, or whether the situation is being discussed behind the scenes. I accept responsibility for what I did, but I’m unsure how to interpret this or whether I should do anything at all.

What is the best way to handle this?
It just seems to me as if it's very final or if it's aa type of punishment cutting me off. I accepted what I did was wrong and it came from a place of my own hurt and I apologised sincerely and wished her and her family peace. Then this.
Should I leave it alone, reach out again, or take this as a sign they want space?

OP posts:
Rainbowshine · 19/11/2025 16:36

Social media is not real. Leave it alone. Give them space. Stop trying to analyse their motives and reasons for changing some settings on a social media platform. Get on with healing yourself and living better to avoid it happening again.

Karatema · 19/11/2025 16:41

@Rainbowshinehas hit the nail on the head. Get on with your own life.

Riversidegirl · 19/11/2025 17:02

You can forgive but you can’t always forget. Leave well alone and move on. Everyone has a right to feel how they feel.

Fairygoblin · 19/11/2025 17:38

I think it’s totally acceptable for her to make boundaries and protect herself. Your actions have had consequences and you’ll just have to live with that I’m afraid, you should leave her be

AnneLovesGilbert · 19/11/2025 18:33

Leave well alone now. It’s very naive to think apologising is the end of it from her point of view, of course she’s told other people and they’ll have their own views of your behaviour. If police involvement was even a possibility I’d consider yourself extremely lucky she’s only blocked you on Facebook.

Fmysparklinglight · 19/11/2025 18:46

AnneLovesGilbert · 19/11/2025 18:33

Leave well alone now. It’s very naive to think apologising is the end of it from her point of view, of course she’s told other people and they’ll have their own views of your behaviour. If police involvement was even a possibility I’d consider yourself extremely lucky she’s only blocked you on Facebook.

What I sent was one big huge massive distastful insult. It could fall under offensive communications. I never knew there was such a law. I knew it wasn't stalking or harassment because it wasn't repetitive. It was just one incident.

I never knew there was potential of legal consequences and you are right.

I feel awful over what I did and the hurt I caused her. This recent development compounds it all.

I know what I did was wrong and it came out wrong.

OP posts:
DaisyDoodler · 19/11/2025 20:49

Doubt the police would be interested in one shitty message to be honest unless it was threatening in nature? But either way, I agree with PP that best to leave this person alone. You have apologised but they are not likely to just forget that you have done this or ever feel completely comfortable around you again so not surprised they want a bit of distance. I certainly would in their shoes.

Fmysparklinglight · 19/11/2025 23:38

Thanks for all of the replies. No, it wasn't threatening. It was extremely distasteful, insulting and offensive.

Why was the blockings partial though? Only on Facebook and not other platforms. I don't get it.

OP posts:
thepariscrimefiles · 20/11/2025 06:43

Did this relative behave badly towards you or your parent which is why you sent the (obviously not very) anonymous message to her?

If your message was so bad that you could be prosecuted under the Malicious Communications if your relative decided to take this action against you, I think that you should just count yourself lucky that she has just blocked you on Facebook.

DaisyDoodler · 20/11/2025 06:50

Possibly they use facebook most and not occurred to them about other platforms. Not sure why you are so confused though. Surely being blocked is the least you could expect after doing something like that.

MrsPrendergast · 20/11/2025 07:00

Fmysparklinglight · 19/11/2025 23:38

Thanks for all of the replies. No, it wasn't threatening. It was extremely distasteful, insulting and offensive.

Why was the blockings partial though? Only on Facebook and not other platforms. I don't get it.

Maybe they've forgotten they're on the other platform? Or rarely use it?

What you're really asking is "because they haven't blocked me on all platforms, does MN think they're not 100% angry with me and is there a way back into their good graces?"

And my answer to your unasked question is

They are 100% angry with you but there might be a way back in to their good graces but it'll take a fuck load of effort and work from you.

roastedrapidly · 20/11/2025 11:41

You sent an anonymous insult to a family member and wonder why she's blocked you?

She probably uses FB more than other platforms / or you do, or you did this on FB so that where she sees you as being the most problematic.
leave her alone now and do some work on yourself

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