Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

To go on long weekend away or not

33 replies

UniqueOpalSwan · 18/11/2025 04:53

Friend has invited me on a long weekend away with others ( I’m not sure how many invited but I guess about 6/7). I immediately said yes but last week they told me they had to think long and hard about including me as they were concerned I wouldn’t fit in. The silly thing is I am known as the life and soul , take me along to make strangers talk etc so this is totally out of the blue. They won’t discuss any more but say I am welcome so do I go or not ?

OP posts:
outerspacepotato · 18/11/2025 16:38

UniqueOpalSwan · 18/11/2025 16:15

Hi hair oil - yes I did - same people - I bit the bullet and had it out with them preparing to end the friendship if necessary and the remark came out of this discussion - basically she will always put the other girl first !

Drop both the weekend and the user friend who wants those free perks.

Theroadt · 18/11/2025 17:05

Happygolucky917 · 18/11/2025 06:52

I don’t think I could go after that OP. Why on earth would they tell you that?

I suspect to get her to not come, given cancelling the invite would be even ruder.

Marosanne · 18/11/2025 17:16

I couldn't possibly go after hearing that. I just wouldn't be comfortable, and I don't think I'd hang out with any of them after that. Why on earth did she tell you that?

rogerpayne · 18/11/2025 17:36

I'd go just out of curiosity.
Take some £££s with you cash or card so you've a Plan B.
If you don't like the Aura or the feel of it make an excuse and leave but it is a strange thing to do.
I mean Why invite and then change mind.
Just be safe.

Bluedenimdoglover · 18/11/2025 18:01

Why bother even thinking about it? What sort of friend would invite someone you don't get on with, then invite you, and then more or less tell you that you weren't really wanted. If she valued you as a friend, you'd have been asked first and told that the other person was to be asked, too.This would have given you the opportunity of refusal with dignity at the outset, without the not-so-veiled insult. Bloody cheek of it all.

Griff1963 · 18/11/2025 18:14

Tell her to stick the invite up her arse!!

Ibizaonmymind · 18/11/2025 18:29

UniqueOpalSwan · 18/11/2025 09:06

Some context, basically they always invite somebody that I don’t get on with although neither does anyone else however my age I find it hard to hide whereas others just go along with it. Because I’ve made it known I guess that’s why they’re struggling to include me however for the past 15 years of the friendship, I was the one who was included. When I say the life of the party I mean it was always me relied upon to ensure everyone got along , as I was good at chatting to people that didn’t get on , not a party Bunny especially at my age !

I think the context was vital here. This hasn’t come out of nowhere, it’s happened because you struggle to get along with someone else in the group.

I suspect she told you about their conversation to give you a heads up that they don’t want an atmosphere.

HairOil · 18/11/2025 18:46

UniqueOpalSwan · 18/11/2025 16:15

Hi hair oil - yes I did - same people - I bit the bullet and had it out with them preparing to end the friendship if necessary and the remark came out of this discussion - basically she will always put the other girl first !

OK. That gives some context, though. If you told her you were upset that you were never invited to her social events any more and gave her an ultimatum, then she possibly felt pressured into inviting you on the weekend away, even though you’re not in the friendship group, and someone you don’t get on with is going ?

I’m not sure what you mean by she ‘will always put the other girl first’? Were you expecting her not to invite one of her other friends because you don’t like her?

I mean, isn’t an invitation to her social events what you wanted? But you’re not happy now you’ve got one?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page